|Yes, that’s guest blogger Geanna and yours truly having a tea party circa 1984.
Today I am honored to welcome a guest post by my older cousin slash life guinea pig, Geanna. You may recall her name from several blog posts past. Today she opens up about what she learned during her 30th year of life on the eve of her 31st birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY GEEGEE!
This coming Sunday (…which is also Father’s Day, which has become a point of contention with my immediate family, which has lead to us celebrating both occasions on another day completely, which is not the point of this post…), I’m going to turn 31. Thirty. One.
When this blog’s creator and I were playing dress-up and plotting out the lives of our future selves, we never imagined being “this old.” It’s not that we thought we’d be dead before 30, it’s just that it seemed too far away to even worry about or comprehend. But now, here we are, living lives (I think) better than what we could have predicted while dancing around to Annie, wearing tutus and imagining what the years would bring.
Around this time last year, I was begging Jessie to let me write a guest-post about what I felt like on the brink of turning 30. I had all these grand ideas about embarking on this new decade, what it meant to me, and how these feelings would reflect themselves in (what I thought would be) a new outlook on my fresh, 30-something life. But when it came down to it, I couldn’t write it. I had no idea what being 30 meant yet, or what my thoughts and feelings about turning 30 even really were. I read a lot of lists like this one from HuffPo and rolled my eyes, feeling like they had zero to do with me or my friends who were also heading towards the big 3-0. I mean, who owns a cordless drill at this point, amiright?!
But now, with almost a year of perspective and reflection and all that other crap, I can safely say that Thirty. Fucking. Rocks. And now that list kind of makes sense. And what better way to prove I’ve done all this growing and learning than to share a list OF MY OWN about all the things a 20-nothing has to look forward to?! There isn’t one. Let’s make with the list:
1. You don’t have to put up with any bullshit from anyone, ever.
I know this isn’t really a groundbreaking discovery, but I am more confident than ever that there is no room for any kind of social drama in my life. Haters gonna hate, and you should let them, because they are jerks.
2. Your work-life feels better, for some reason.
For me, the reason was leaving an old job (where I was underappreciated and bored) for a new one where I have more responsibility and daily challenges that keep me awake. It was really hard to make that change, but when I finally did, it was worth it.
3. You don’t have to go out EVERY night.
This one was tough. I never liked to miss even one social gathering for fear that I would be left out of an amazing night that my friends would talk about for years to come, saying things like, “You should have been there!” I now love staying in and making dinner just as much as I love staying out ‘til 3 AM and drinking vodka. Call me lame? I call me MATURE.
4. On a similar note, getting carded rules.
Oh, you think I look under 21? Is it because of my youthful Korean features? It is, and I’ll take it.
5. But on another similar note, being hungover has become an all-day affair.
Drink lots of water. Take an omega-3 vitamin. Buy yourself some black-out curtains. And don’t make any plans; you’re not going to be able to move for quite some time.
6. The sex is better. Like, way better.
No more putting up with awkward, inexperienced partners who fumble around and leave you feeling confused and unfulfilled! You know what you want and you know how to get there. And thankfully now, they do too.
7. But at the same time, you know how to be alone. And like it.
Sitting with yourself at home, at the gym, at a restaurant, at a movie… is some of the most important quality time you’re ever gonna get. Enjoy it.
8. You cry more.
It might just be me, but I’ve experienced an exponential increase in crying this year… actually, in just emoting in general. As someone who never really expressed any kind of emotion previous to this, I can’t really think of another explanation other than getting older. Random (and not so random) shit just chokes me UP sometimes, and I have no other choice but to let it flow.
9. When someone loves you the way you need to be loved, all your hang-ups just go out the window.
I didn’t realize how cynical I was until I started dating my current boyfriend. When talking about him in those early months, ALL of my closest friends said the same: “I never thought this would happen to you!” “Look at you, you’re actually SMILING!” “This must be the Apocalypse!” And so on and so forth. I guess I didn’t know it was happening until it had already happened, but I managed to let myself fall in love and allow my usual self-conscious-worried-about-what-other-people-think-how-will-I-maintain-my-independence-let’s-not-hold-hands-in-public-self be totally and completely forgotten. He makes me happy every day, and I’m not even the slightest bit embarrassed to say that in an online public forum… okay, so yes, the Apocalypse is upon us.
10. You know how to be a better friend, girlfriend, sister, citizen, human, etc.
This has much less to do with learning about myself and way more to do with wanting to be better for everyone else. The relationships I currently have were each tested and made stronger this year, and I understand the value of those relationships and what each adds to my life. I fought with friends who are still my friends. I made sacrifices that didn’t seem like such a big deal once I thought about them. I strengthened my connection with family. I gave a lot of hugs.
They say that life begins at 30 (which is ridiculous, since you have to live all those years up to that point), but maybe it’s just that your understanding of what you want your adult life to be becomes more realized when you finally hit that mark. I truly feel like I know where I’m going, and for once I know there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.
Now once I stop crying, let’s go grab a drink at this bar I know where we can DEFINITELY get carded…