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Immediate next steps at the close of 2009

January 4, 2010

Will work for cliche, motivational phrases…

January 4, 2010

We don’t have the will-power to make our own resolutions

January 4, 2010

Theory: the reason no one ever keeps their New Year’s resolutions is that we’re going about making them the wrong way.
Root of problem: we’re making them
Evidence supporting theory: we exhibit a general lack of follow-through on all things born of our own invention. Will-power is our generation’s Goliath.
Hear me out: The whole idea of a resolution – this thing we want to do for either general self-improvement (read more, keep a journal, go on dates), or to benefit our lives (save money, invest money, travel somewhere), or to mitigate the negative (drink less, fight less, weigh less…) – comes from our own heads.
We want to be better readers – to know more stuff – so we decide we’ll read more. We think we should weigh a little less – to look better – so we diet. It’s not that we’re not right – everyone should read more and could probably weigh less. It’s not that we don’t know ourselves – it’s that aside from the pressure of Jan 1 – a fresh, new year – there’s nothing any different about us than every other day prior we’ve had to decide to read more or eat less. We’re in charge. We remain our own motivation. And it is among the most human of traits to blow it when it’s all on us. This is why we have things like automatic bill payment and that call you get from the gynecologist once a year reminding you to come for a check-up because your birth control prescription is about to run out. We’re mostly worthless without a nudge.
Recommended solution: Someone else should make us some New Year’s recommendations slash requirements.
How/why it works: If someone else – a boyfriend, a sister, a co-worker, your Mom – says to you – “you’re so great in so many ways, but I think you’d be even better if you read the newspaper every once in awhile so you had exciting and intelligent things to say” – you’d say screw you, I have plenty of exciting and intelligent things to say all the time! And if you have such a problem with what I have to say than stop listening to me!
And then, in the quiet of your office cubicle on the morning after the New Year – you’d read the paper.
If one of that set of your important life people said, “hey I’m going to try to lose a little weight after the new year – let’s both be healthy and get down to a goal weight because we both know we feel better that way” – you’d tell every other person in that set that so-and-so is a bitch slash asshole who had the nerve to tell you that you need to lose weight and how dare they!
Buuut when it came time to decide whether or not to eat a bagel with bacon egg and cheese after the New Year hits – you’d maybe opt against it.
As a people we care very deeply what certain other people think. This is mostly a negative because we should be our own people and focus on our own goals and not let other people get in our heads. That said – this is the human condition, so we may as well use it to our benefit if and when we can. Case in point, this scenario.
So with that, here are my recommendations for our generation. Broad, I know, but I’m too chicken to make specific call-outs to specific people (which, yes, is the inherent flaw in this plan. Well…I tried.)
  • You should make it a point to call one of your friends on the phone once a week instead of sending them a text. It’s more personal, and they’ll appreciate it.
  • You should read the Modern Love column in the weekend style section of the New York Times. It’ll change your life.
  • You should do the Suze Orman and take out the amount of money you’re budgeted to spend per week in cash. You’ll save a ton of money. Trust me.
  • If you’re single and would like to be dating you should tell everyone you’re comfortable telling that you’d like to be set up.
  • You should stop watching Jersey Shore. It’s making you stupider. Plus, you’ll still see all the best parts on The Soup, which you should never stop watching.
  • If you don’t already, you should read one book every six months. That’s two books a year. If you can’t do that you should take a good look at your life and change a lot of things about it.
  • You should consider saving every $5 bill you end up with. Friends of mine did this and ended up affording a European vacation after two years. Those are impressive results.
  • If there’s something in your life that, every single time you do it you think, I have got to stop doing this – you should stop doing it. If it’s a person, same applies, times 2.

4 comments

  2. I’ve never commented but this is the best blog post I’ve read in a while and all your suggestions could be applied to my life.

  3. I think more than having someone else make the resolutions for you, we should have someone to commit to a resolution with us. For example, I’d be a lot more apt to, say, cook more at home, if someone would volunteer to do this with me. Then, in return, you can also volunteer a team resolution with that person who is going to help you get your ass to eat out less. Someone makes me cook; I make sure s/he workouts more. But it’s got to be something the other person does naturally. Find the right partner to get resolute with and it works.

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