In addition to people in my peer group getting engaged like it’s going out of style, they’re also “moving in” like there’s no tomorrow.

Spoiler Alert: I may or may not be among those numbers within the coming year. Let’s leave it at … I’ve allowed the discussion to to be left on the table.

This is exciting. This is meaningful. This is a development in line with the rest of the developments in my late 20’s life. And this is – of course – terrifying.

Brace for cliche, but instead of confronting the very real questions and fears that are a part of any sizable life transition, I just keep thinking, “when will I eat stacks of saltines standing up in my underwear while reading fashion magazines?”

Yes, that’s a Sex & The City reference. It’s from the episode where Carrie et al acknowledge that you grow to miss your secret single behaviors the further you get from actually being single. Carrie shares her’s (skivvy glossy binges) and Miranda does the same (if I recall correctly it’s watching a British soap opera while wearing deep moisturizing gloves).

It’s not the fact that you cannot engage in these acts with a man in the house, it’s just that it’s not the same. He might thing you’re crazy (which you might be). He might think you’re wasting your time (which you probably are). Or – even worse – he might want to join you (and then when you say no he’ll absolutely think you’re a jerk). And while these are by no means habits that are significant to our personhood, there’s something special about them that we long for with the prospect they might be gone.

And so, in an act of self-help/therapy I thought I’d purge my own secret single behaviors here. Deep breath. Sorry R.

• I like to make outfits out of the clothes in my closet and then write down the pieces of the ensemble so I can get dressed faster in the morning.

• Sometimes, I put on the songs from my old dance recital performances to see if I can remember the routines. My favorite is Real McCoy “Another Night” because it has an awesome Roger Rabbit sequence.

• I will watch any E! True Hollywood Story that I find on and will cry at least once during the show for no good reason. It typically happens when the movie star (or Bethanny Frankle) comes back from their depths of despair to find love/win an academy award/adopt an African child.

• If there’s random left-over cheese in the fridge I will go back and forth to the fridge cutting little squares to eat until the entire chunk is gone. Yes, it makes sense to just cut up the cheese and eat it as a snack, but I prefer to make multiple visits.

• Sometimes, I attempt to make new lipstick colors by combining the various ‘sticks and glosses in my collection.

• When I have a lot of time I’ll blow-dry my hair straight and then watch hair up-do tutorials on YouTube so I can try them out. My favorite is this girl Albo Mayo. That kid can use a curling iron.

So the lesson here is that I am crazy and will probably benefit from living an environment where these habit are curtailed. Though, it would be really fun to teach R all my old dance routines.