I’m three days late and so many dollars short, but below are the results from my New York trip bucket list. Enjoy!

I’m back in New York for a hot minute right now for a combo business/family holiday trip.

As those of you who have been reading this blog since its B.C. (before California) era know, I have an unreasonable love-affair with Manhattan. I believe it is the greatest city in the world. I believe it was wildly defining to my life. Here, by way of one example, is the post I wrote about leaving it behind for Los Angeles. It’s literally a letter to the city, that’s how bizarre I am about our “relationship.”

Therefore it’s only natural that I have an unreasonable and ridiculous list of to-do’s during my brief stay back on the island. Here they are, in no particular order. On Friday I will re-post this with details about the success/failure of each!

• I want to run across the street after the DON’T WALK man stops flashing and just goes solid. – Did it, several times. It was equal parts thrilling and time-saving, my two favorite elements.

• I want some sleazy guy working construction to yell “smile baby” as I stomp down the street. THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED! Construction site on 26th just West of 7th Avenue. I fell for it.

• I want to see a New York celebrity. Not a Kardashian. Not Cat Deeley. Not some guy who’s on CSI. I want someone currently on Broadway, an SVU regular, or, best yet, a member of the SJP clan. Ed Koch: Breakfast at The Gramercy Park Hotel. Seth Meyers!!!: F Train uptown from West 4th Street. And, fulfilling my SJP dream/wish: Willie Garson aka STANFORD BLATCH: Bryant Park. CLEANED UP.

• I want to eat a sesame bagel with veggie cream cheese from Murray’s Bagels on 6th Avenue. I failed on this one, big time. I just couldn’t get myself to Murray’s in time on Friday AM before my train to see R’s family. I blame my slower L.A. pace.

• I want some guy on the subway to try and sell me batteries. Nice dice on this, but a guy did offer to sell me a DVD of 21 JUMP STREET.

• I want some guy on the street to try to get me to support Children’s International. Check. I was also asked to support The Human Rights Campaign and something having to do with puppies.

• I want to have zero trouble hailing a cab during a crazy-busy time of day. Done.

• I want to have lots of trouble hailing a cab during a crazy-busy time of day and then say, “screw it, I can walk there faster.”This happened too, except instead of saying, “screw it,” I said, “ohmygod why can’t I get a cab?! What is this?? L.A.?! Now I’m going to have to walk 25 blocks!!” Yes, I am very ashamed of myself.

• I want to have one more drink than I probably should. (preferably at The Dove with Dani and Geanna). I was sensible at The Dove. I was not the night before at The House of Brews…

• I want to grab one of those deep, round plastic containers full of lettuce, hand it to a man behind a glass partition, bark seven ingredients at him in rapid succession, say “balsamic vinegarette please,” and have him hand me a salad, and I want all of that to happen in under 30 seconds. Check, and oh man did it feel good.

• I want to be overdressed on purpose, just like everyone else. Duh.

• I want to smell the sweet smell of street meat, a street pretzel, a street hot dog, and street bacon out of a coffee cart. Got all but the pretzel. I don’t think they’re as easy to find outside of Midtown, and I wasn’t willing to go there just to smell a pretzel.

• I want to get a little sweaty from walking too fast.Did it, thanks to the gorgeous 65 degree weather.

• I want a large coffee with cream and sugar from Bonsignour on 8th Avenue and Jane Street. Devastated to say that this too was skipped due to lack of time.

• And, most importantly of all, I want to hear 17+ ads for Empire Carpets while I’m watching The Today Show in the morning so I can sing along (800-588-2300 EMPIIIIIIRE, today!). I counted, for sake of this post slash my OCD, 12 times in two days watching The Today Show. That’s practically 17+, and totally unbelievable. That said, it would be nice to get a whole second room carpeted for the price of one.