My parents are coming to LA for a visit this week. During their time here I will attempt to convince them of the following:

• That I can feed myself inside my house without the aid of a restaurant delivery man.

• That Los Angeles is a very safe place, superior in many ways to all other places I have lived, not including – of course – their house. 

• That I am now a safe and calm driver totally capable of handling her own vehicle.

• That my LA friends are smart and talented people who support me like a family but are by no means replacing my own family which is, of course, the greatest form of support in my life.

• That I go to the beach a lot because that’s one of the big LA-selling points, and I’m obviously taking full advantage of everything the West Coast has to offer considering I decided to move 3,000 miles away for these benefits. 

• That my shoe purchasing habit is totally under control.

• That my clothing purchasing habit is totally under control.

• That I don’t go for brunch both weekend days, every single weekend. 

• That I know exactly what’s going to happen with my career in the coming six months to five years.

• That I really can hear them loud and clear when I’m in my car on Blue Tooth. 

•  That I know my way around LA without the use of an iPhone map that I therefore never have to look at while I’m driving.

• That not all of my friends are gay.  

Anything I’m missing?