Last week R and I hosted my cousin Derek for his week-long L.A. adventure. Derek was most recently in Seoul, Korea where he taught English and did voice over work. He decided to stop in L.A. on his way home to the East coast to get a feel for the city.

A few things you should know:

• R and I love hosting people. I think it’s because we’re both super competitive so we want people to think L.A. is an amazing place (which it obviously is). 

• R and I live in a one bedroom. It’s a big one bedroom, but there’s still only just the one bedroom making for a total of three rooms in the entire place (bed, bath, living/kitchen).

• Derek is younger than us.

• I am the oldest of four children, girl children while R has two older sisters

• Korea is VERY different from L.A.

Onto the theory: hosting a guest in your home is like a mini preview of your eventual parenting styles. I, for example, wanted to ensure that Derek was cared for every minute of every day. R preferred to allow Derek to, shall we say, have his own L.A. journey. As such, R and I both expressed that feeling of responsibility for Derek in different ways throughout his time. It went something like this:

Regarding jet lag:

• Me: Do you think he’s jet lagged?
• R: Yes, probably.
• Me: How can we help him through that?
• R: What?
• Me: I really want to give him the chance to sleep off his jet lag so he can have the best time possible.
• R: Yeah, he’ll probably just tell us he wants to sleep, if he needs to sleep.
• Me: Right…

Regarding Derek hiking:

• Me: I gave Derek the 30 spf to take hiking.
• R: Okay.
• Me: Do you think that’s enough?
• R: Yes.
• Me: I don’t think that’s enough…

Regarding Derek not feeling so well:

• Me: Can you pick up some Gatorade for Derek? He’s not feeling so well. 
• R: Sure. I’ll get some coconut water too.
• Me: Yeah?
• R: Yeah. That’s supposed to be good for your stomach.
• Me: Yeah?
• R: Okay, I’ll just get Gatorade.

Regarding Derek still not feeling so well:

• Me: Hey, I’m at the library, and I haven’t heard from Derek for about an hour. You don’t think he’s….dead…right?
• R: Hahahaha.
• Me: That’s not funny. He was feeling very weak earlier. 
• R: No. I don’t think he’s dead. I think he’s sleeping.
• Me: But for an hour?
• R: At least. 
• Me: Okay. I’m going to go home now just to check. 
• R: J, he’s sleeping. If you go home, you’ll wake him up. 
• Me: Right.
• R: So what are you going to do?
• Me: Go home very quietly.

 Regarding Derek’s rental car trouble:

• Me: Derek had some car trouble this morning…
• R: Oh yeah?
• Me: What are we going to do with this kid?
• R: Nothing. 

For the record, R and I did approach one element of this pre-parenting exercise in the same exact manner. We both pretty much demanded that Derek eat at the places we recommended.

So at least the eventual, hypothetical kid will be well-fed….