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Things a 30-year-old Says While Watching the VMA’s

August 26, 2013
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I promise not every post from here on out when have “30-year-old” in the title, but this one seemed too obvious to ignore. I accidentally watched 15 minutes of the VMA’s last night. Here are several things that I said out loud.

  • Um, Ok Lady Gaga…you don’t get to slap paint on your face sing the equivalent of a theme park parade song and call yourself avant guard…by me at least!
  • ‘Lil Kim is looking dangerously like Latoya Jackson. Wait. Do you think anyone watching this knows who Latoya Jackson is? OMG or ‘Lil Kim?!
  • I’m sorry, the One Direction movie is called This Is Us?! Who is in charge of these Yahoos? Yes, I just said yahoos. People say that! 
  • Miley Cyrus looks like a cracked out Gwen Stefani. 
  • THIS is Miley’s big “I’m a bad girl” song?? There’s nothing edgy about this! Mandy Moore could sing this! I wish Mandy Moore was signing this.
  • No. No Miley no. Actually, no MTV no. Do they think this is cool? Oh my god is this cool? Is this what kids like? Please say this isn’t what real kids really like. Hahaha according to the look on Rihanna’s face, it’s not. Like she knows what’s good for the youth of America…but still.
  • Is she twerking now?…oh.
  • She’s twerking now, right?…oh.
  • Wait. That’s twerking!? Really?? That’s dumb.
  • How pissed is Robin Thicke to be associated with this Miley mess? Hhmm, probably not pissed at all. He’s probably banging her. Ugh. He would. 
  • How much do you think they paid Selena Gomez to pretend to be Taylor Swift’s best friend for the night?
  • I’ve heard of exactly one of the five artists on the rise. This moment is so much worse than actually turning 30.  

Please tell me I just caught the wrong 15 minutes?


  1. Apparently Justin Timberlake was awesome and added some class to the show. AND NSYNC WAS THERE! But I wasn’t able to watch it – so I can’t tell you this by first hand experience.

  2. Selena Gomez and Taylor Swift ARE really close friends. They hang out all the time…maybe I read too many Us Weekly/People magazines, but there are a ton of pictures of them together.

  3. Justin Timberlake’s performance (with a 2 minute NSYNC reunion) was pretty decent. But overall, I wasn’t impressed with the show. Maybe I’m just getting too old, too.

  4. ha ha…. I 100% thought the exact same thing “… Do they think this is cool? Oh my god is this cool? Is this what kids like? Please say this isn’t what real kids really like…”. I’m still wondering, because I just don’t get the whole tongue/teddy bear thing AT ALL.

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