This post was born out of the 45 minutes I recently spent trying to get my newly straight hair (it literally just went straight after 29.5 years of being curly!!!) to curl properly using one of those curling rods every 12-year-old on YouTube seems to have mastered. Enjoy!
The Top 10 Things I (Apparently) Still Need To Remind Myself
…at 30 Years of Age
10. Your hair looks fine. Not perfect, not amazing, not Rachel Bilson-esque, but fine. Likely better than fine, but fine is better than awful, which is still better than bald. Now either leave it like it is or put it in a pony tail and step away from the mirror.
9. No one gives a poop what your hair looks like anyway. They’re too busy thinking about their own hair, unless they are well-adjusted humans, in which case they’re thinking about more important things like what they’re going to eat for their next meal.
8. Chances are there is not a man hiding into the storage closet in your apartment, and even if there is, opening the door really slowly is not the solution.
7. There is zero logic in eating like crap from brunch on because you at like crap at brunch. A day is not some kind of pass/fail class. In fact, nothing but a pass/fail class is anything like a pass/fail class so just live in wonder that those ever existed and move on.
6. In a related reminder: The Special K Diet is just an organized way of starving yourself for two weeks.
5. It is no longer possible to improve on your alcohol tolerance any less than two years prior to whatever wedding you need to attend. Buy yourself some Drinkwel or Lyteshow, alternate between booze and water, and don’t schedule a flight before 7PM the following day.
4. The more you troll Facebook, the more freaked out you will become about the general lack of babies you’ve given birth to in the past ever. Stick to Twitter. Way less babies, so far.
3. Honking has zero impact on the third card that slips through after the light turns red. He knows it’s two cars max – everyone knows it’s two cars max – and your Volvo toot isn’t going to change the fact that he does not care.
2. Yes, it’s true that if you just wrote ten pages a day for 11 days you’d have a feature film. No, it’s never ever going to go down like that.
And the #1 thing I have to remind myself even though I’m 30 years of age…
1. You’re not “run down from all the writing you’ve been doing lately” – you just get tired at 10:30 now.
Jessie Rosen
Jessie Rosen resides physically in LA and mentally in NY. She writes scripts, books, articles, sex stories, branded content and killer e-mails.
6 comments
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you nailed #8
Steph
Tailgate queen – game day dresses
Thank you for reminding me why I stick to Twitter. ALWAYS. Ugh, babies.
May I subscribe via email? Groovy blog!
Marcee/Chicago
Hilarious!
I have recently realized #9, and how liberating it is!
Well done!