I spent a total of 6 full days in LA, so I’m by no means qualified to
de-buff all the myth slash stereotypes I intended to explore before my arrival. In fact, there’s the chance I built up even more confusion about this city-of-a-dozen-suburbs than clarity around my premises. Still, I have some thoughts
which maaay read like judgements, so please understand that while I know what I have in New York and what I love about it, I have
no idea if the New York life is, as they say,
the life.
I’ll get to that, eventually.
Here are the myths with my attempt at a busting:
Social life is disjointed.
If you’re at a bar in the West Village at 10:30pm and get a text from some friends on the Upper East Side saying, “what’s up, where u at?” to which you respond, “around West 4th and 7th Ave – come!” they’ll grumble about it, but they’ll probably jump in a cab and meet you 15 minutes and $15 later.
There’s less of that in LA. Not none, just less. Some neighborhoods have a dozen or so bars within walking distance, but most don’t, so it’s typically a drive from one place to the next, and therefore one friend group to the next. In New York you can hit 3-4 bars in one night with absolutely no issue picking up friends and randoms as you go. In LA I sense it’s rare to go to more than 2 bars in one night, and your plans tend to be laid out before you go to account for driving and drinking (or rather, not).
What does this all mean? Less chances to get more people together with ease. Nights that end earlier and soberer. A mainstay of bars in a select set of neighborhoods, generally close to where people live.
Aanndd yet, everyone seems to know everyone. Case in point – I invited some LA friends and friends of friends for a “I’m in town” drink (note: all of them came despite distance and parking) – some of them knew each other, some of them didn’t – or so they thought. By the time the night was over it turned out everyone had at least two connections to everyone else there, except for Pauly Shore who only had one connection, but that’s another story.
I can’t figure this out, but it’s true. Perhaps it has something to do with these “message boards” that everyone talks about – idk.
There are more gay guys.
Tough for me to answer because I am, shall we say, low on straight male friends in LA. I don’t think you can make a percentage comparison on this one – especially if it was between Boy’s Town and Chelsea. Also LA doesn’t have Broadway, and there is nothing gayer than Broadway
There are more people who seem gay.
This is opening up a can of very non-PC worms, so I’ll just say this. Many men in LA of the actor/musician variety take very good care of themselves, look incredible, are generally tan, and wear fairly tight clothing. If this makes them seem like some people’s stereotype of gay, then one might say that more guys in LA seem gay. I will just say that more guys in LA seem like they really like both themselves and fitted clothing. In short, there appear to be less bros in LA. In shorter, I’d struggle there…
The “who do you know” factor.
I was out and about a fair amount and no one asked me who I knew versus what I did. That said, it’s fairly assumed that people work in “the business.” Of the, say, baker’s dozen friends and friends-of-friends I saw, only two didn’t work in some form of entertainment – and one of those works for Fran Drescher’s charity Cancer Schmancer (not a joke), so that counts on a technicality.
I will say that a fair amount of name-dropping goes on pretty much chronically, but it appears to be used to find relation between new people. “Oh, you work at Fox, do you know ________?” – “Yep, worked with her at _______.” Oh, I didn’t know you worked at ________. I was there when _________ sold that pilot about _________.” “Omg, then you must know ________?” “Totally! She and _________ worked with my friend ________ over at _______.” “Right! I totally know _______ and _______, I interned at ___________!”
It’s like the college name game except you actually know someone everywhere anyone mentions. Is it pretentious? Only if you’re dropping celebrity names you don’t really have the right to invoke. It’s more just a fact of life is the biz, and a way to establish connections.
Everyone is suffering from Peter Pan complex
Everyone isn’t doing anything the same in LA because it’s huge. I will say – as a blanket observation – that the presence of cars and real houses and apartments big enough to host dinner parties makes for a certain degree of more-grown-up going on.
But if we focus on “the industry” (entertainment), it seems somewhat true that there’s a delay in people setting down their dreams and focusing on raising a family, saving money, tending to a garden (metaphoric or otherwise). Also, LA culture doesn’t necessarily value grown-ups – it values creativity, hard work, commitment to your passions, good networking. No one is going to give you a gold star for ability to manage your 401K while investing in property and finding the perfect mate – that’s not the value system. So it’s not that people pursuing success in tv, film, music don’t want to grow up, it’s that whatever growing up means to Boston or Chicago or New York or Miami doesn’t count in LA.
Life is cheaper in LA.
This is tricky, but I do think it nets out to be cheaper to live an active 20-something life in LA than in New York. A lot of this is owing to the fact that apartments are roomier allowing for easier planning of nights and afternoons in. Also, people will argue with me, but rent is cheaper there – point blank. I don’t know a soul who pays under $1,000 and lives under 100th street here in New York. Because LA is more spread out but people have cars you can live in the “cheaper” outskirts without any trouble.
But really, I think it has to do with the fact that people drink/eat less, less often, at less establishments. Bars close at 2am, you’re often a designated driver, and it’s a little more complicated to bar-hop around the village putting a credit card down and eating the $20 minimum at every spot you stop. First off, there appear to be no credit card minimums.
So if a typical NYC night costs you $60 +, a typical LA night might only run you $40. Again, perception after a week, but that was the math I experienced.
Verdict
It’s a strange town, for sure, but no stranger than Manhattan if we had to make a list. But I will say, myth’s and truth’s aside – there might be no bigger difference between lifestyles of 20-something than there is between New York and LA. Bold statement, I realize, but I do maintain that the life of a 25-year-old New Yorker is more similar to than of someone from Boston or Chicago than it is from LA. There’s just something about the weather and the cars and the fact that 90% of people work in the exact same field… I don’t know – it feels like LaLa Land – like a place where people speak this weird language and have these weird customs and are all in agreement that whatever it is they’ve got going on is better than whatever else is out there.
And no matter how you feel about parallel parking or ending the night at 2am, you can’t help but wonder if they’ve got some things figured out…
But again, that’s only after a week.
I’ve lived in NYC four years now, and I’m seriously contemplating a move to LA. I must say, your posts about Hollywoodland are very helpful. Verdict: Going West (maybe?).
That was a very coherent and logical account of LA. I definitely feel like I can imagine the lifestyle there better than I could before.
I’m surprised that you said there are less bros! I always imagined LA as bro-town. Manicured and tan bro-town, but bro-town nonetheless.
Hmm. Interesting to think about the varying definitions of “bro”…
I particularly liked your bit about the Peter Pan complex and how relative our definitions of “grown up” are. I was recently in my home town and I thought about how a 22-year-old kid wouldn’t need to be wealthy or that far along in his career to own property. Would that make him a grown up? Maybe? That stuff’s pretty interesting.
I’m pretty sure I still spend less money living in Bushwick and not driving than I ever would spend in LA. Still it’s good to hear that, car aside, the cost of living is not that ridiculous.
Good post.
I’m giving you the Happy 101 Award! Congratulations!!
http://rebelcinderella.blogspot.com/2010/03/omg-my-first-blog-award.html
RC x
as a born and raised angelino, i really must remind you that the car-owning and gas-buying aspect of our lives really even out the cost of living. because when you’re here, staying in LA gets pretty dull. it doesn’t take long for you to start planning trips to snow, or beach, or different beach, or norcal, or cen-cal (central coast), or las vegas, etc. that’s when it gets expensive. when you are sick of denny’s and the mall and need something to do.
also, my bf was born in NYC and half-raised there and he loves LA a lot more.. but is constantly complaining over our lack of diners. we don’t understand the importance of a good diner.