I was glued to my TV Friday night watching the memorial service of Ted Kennedy.
I love the Kennedy’s – Ted in particular – as much as any Boston College-educated liberal democrat. I also have a strange thing for memorial services, commemorative events, roasts, that part of the Oscars where Tom Hanks gives Ron Howard a lifetime achievement award (in my mind it should just be that every single year) – really anything involving notable people making sweeping speeches about other notable people.
Very notable political people had incredible things to say about Ted Kennedy. Historical things and achievement-based things, yes, but also deeply personal stories about their times with Ted.
He called me every other day after my wife and daughter were killed and offered me a thought or a prayer or, more often, a joke – Joe Biden said.
Teddy would call me after we’d had a particularly big fight on the senate floor and say, “that was fun Orin – what should we go ‘round the ring about today?!” – Senator Hatch recounted.
He never even said who is was when he’d call, Boston’s Mayor Tom Menino said – he’s just launch into whatever he needed to say as if you were continuing some conversation you never finished the night before.
Caroline Kennedy, John McCain, former senator John Culver – the list goes on and on but stories were all the same. Ted Kennedy made contact – regular, personal, thoughtful contact over the phone.
When our generation is remembered in memorial services and thoughtful newspaper columns what will people say? “She’d send me funny texts a lot” or “I used to really enjoy her group emails” maybe “I followed her on twitter for years, and that was always interesting…”
Yes, we are of a different technological time. We have cell phones and Facebook and Twitter and gchat – and yes, they allows us to keep in touch with a larger quantity of people – a good thing, no doubt. But what about the quality?
There is something about connecting with someone over the phone. Maybe it’s a voice thing? Or a you’re “live” and not rehearsed or written down thing? Could just be that phone calls mean, “I stopped my entire day to call and speak to you” unlike texts and emails that can be so multi-tasked.
Yes, Ted Kennedy was a “phone man” because he lived and worked before texting and tweeting was the status quo. But the phone is still available, and we don’t opt against it because it’s less effective or efficient. We opt against it because it takes more time and vulnerability.
Is it weird to say I want people to know me like they knew Ted Kennedy? I mean it in a personal, friendship, familiar sense – not as in I want to be a famous senator. But listening to all the speeches throughout his memorial service I couldn’t help but think that when I pass I want my family and friends to have the memories of my reaching out to them just like Ted Kennedy’s family, friends, and colleagues have.
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It is sad that speaking to someone on the phone has become so uncommon. I conduct most of my conversations through text or email. It is definitely most efficient, but lacks a personal touch. I’d like to try to get better about it, but I’ve always been bad about returning people’s calls. Texts and emails have actually helped me keep in contact with people more frequently then I would normally.
All of you technology “natives” (20-nothings and younger)will be remembered with different terms but still sentiments than we “immigrants”. I imagine you keep in touch with more friends, have more frequent contact, and have developed a new kind of communication. Embrace the change… it will continue as it defines your generation. The key is to build and sustain meaningful relationships through communication…just like Ted.
All of you technology “natives” (20-nothings and younger)will be remembered with different terms but still sentiments than we “immigrants”. I imagine you keep in touch with more friends, have more frequent contact, and have developed a new kind of communication. Embrace the change… it will continue as it defines your generation. The key is to build and sustain meaningful relationships through communication…just like Ted.