I find that older people are always offering me advice that I pretend to understand – generally advice around the subject of how to live my life such that when I end up where they are I have less regrets/grudges/debts/husbands as them.
New Series! (they’re really piling up!):
Thanks, but I don’t really know what the hell that means.
A series of posts in which we explore very common adult terms, advice, and moral code from a perspective of how the hell we’re actually supposed to do, follow, and observe it.
- firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values : incorruptibility
- an unimpaired condition : soundness
- the quality or state of being complete or undivided : completeness
- synonyms see honesty
See — this, to me, seems like a lot of things. Living an honest life. Living a life in which you can’t be bought or sold (that incorruptibility part). Being sound of mind (solid in your own thoughts and not too influenced by others?). That’s a lot of different tasks. When people say, “have integrity, young grasshopper — in your work, in your family, in the loves of your life” (an old Jesuit priest dealt me this very line) can’t they mean something a little simpler than the four-prong definition?
Three years after he offered that key to success I emailed that exact question. He answered with one line– this one only slightly longer than the first:
Integrity – said Jack – is living your life in such a way that your 87-year-old Poppop, 42-year-old boss, and 21-year-old mentee would describe you as exactly the same person.
Finally — action words.
To live your life so that you’re the same person in all aspects of it. To be true to yourself at all times so that your actions are consistent — so that you can be known and once known, trusted — and once trusted, loved. To live a life in which that self is fully integrated into every aspect of what you do. Yes you will drink 3 beers with Poppop, 5 with your boss, and 13 with that mentee, but how you talk to them, respect them, care for them and for yourself when around them is consistent to all three.
Integrity — know yourself, be happy with that self, and then and behave like that self in all aspects of your life.
We can handle that.
Now regarding this very vague issue of “living somewhere long enough to know it’s time to leave…”
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Just read your blog for the first time. Hi-lar-i-ous. Thanks for the morning laugh. I look forward to reading your blog throughout the week.
I absolutely adore Father Jack. (For my money it doesn’t get better than a Jesuit priest who’s been known to swear in sermons!) Anyway, it was Father Jack who imparted unto me: “If college is the best four years of your life, I feel sorry for you.” Having people like Jack to give us these little hints on how exactly to live our post-grad lives to the best of our ability, is truly a gift. I look forward to more posts in this series! (and hopefully to more Jesuit guest appearances…) 🙂
Oh, I completely agree with this! Great post! 🙂
I can’t wait to see more in this series.
Integrity is something that is hard to give a “how-to” speech about. I guess it’s about living your life in a way that you are not ashamed of. But I guess that doesn’t mean the same thing to everyone.