I’ve finally figured out why I A. often struggled to get guys to approach me in bars and B. hate both Mary Louise Park and Scarlett Johansson.
The answer, in a picture, is this:
See what they’re doing there? Smiling but by no means really smiling? Saying, “oh, hello there…” without actually suggesting that they want anything to do with whomever they’re looking at?
It’s like they’re both full of passion and lust and yet don’t have a single thought running through their minds. Are they happy? Are they sad? Are they drunk? I don’t know, and neither do the men of the world. All they see is a look that somehow means I AM SEX.
That is a face I have never made in my entire life.
Well, that’s not true. Earlier this afternoon I tried to make it 15 or 20 times in R’s bathroom mirror. I think I got one or two out, but I can’t be sure because there weren’t any guys in R’s bathroom to give me blank sexy-eyes back. The realization came to me after I found myself both furious with and instantly attracted to Mary Louise Parker as featured in a new commercial for Showtime. So if you ever want to include someone in market research about the effectiveness of an ad campaign, I’m your girl.
It dawned upon me after re-watching that ad on YouTube 3-12 times, that I’ve spent most of my male wooing years making a face that looks something like this:
See what Julia’s doing there? She’s actually smiling by employing the use of an up-turned, open mouth that reveals ample teeth. That smile says, “HEYHEYHEY! YEAH! I’m RIGHT HERE! YEE-HAAWW!!” It is not mysterious. It is not vague. It is in your face happiness. That is the look I generally met would-be suitors with in my formerly single life.
For comparison sake, let’s take a look at Julie doing the MLParker/ScarJo:
Mmhmm. Closed mouth. Curious eyes expressing no real sense of a defined emotion. Awkward positioning of the body sos to suggest both flexibility and the potential to walk away at a moment’s notice.
Is she hungry? Is she horny? Men don’t know, and so they’re compelled to approach her so they can find out. I think… I don’t really know what men like about this, but I know that they do, which is an improvement upon my previous 15 or so years of understanding.
Once again, it’s this:
Versus this:
Are we all clear?
Ladies…and guys, I guess? Wait. Is this gender neutral? So it would be:
Versus:
………………………………………………………………………………………………
That was me looking through about 300 images of Ryan Gosling “smiling.” Not a’ ONE of them features a millimeter of teeth. Case: closed.
There is a look that says, “hello!” and a look that says, “um…can I help you?” And one has a significantly greater impact on the opposite sex than the other.
Okay. I think that about does it for the most ridiculous and yet informative blog post I’ve ever written.
Good luck to you all.
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I don’t think I’m capable of making that ‘why, hello there’ face either – so you aren’t alone! Holy mother, why on earth would Ryan bother showing teeth when he does the no-teeth thing so damn well?!
Coming from a guy, the best photo from above is Reese!
Oh yeah… I am Miss Toothy Grin all the way… I shall be practicing the Mary Louise Parker look in the mirror all day today.
It’s amazing how much can be conveyed in just a look… I’m going to have to practice this one.
Nice. This got me thinking about smiles a lot, and what mine says about me. I’ve been thinking about what the half-tooth grin communicates, because I think I do that a lot.
I also think that the Parker/Johansson/Gosling look isn’t “come hither” as much as “I don’t give a f*ck, but I’m still thinking about sex.”
Ryan Gosling smiling with teeth http://fuckyeahmcgosling.tumblr.com/post/7417888490
Haha I just knew somebody would make it a point to find a picture of Gosling, teeth and all.
Anyway, I made your observation a little earlier in life, so I actually consciously try the non-toothy smile/grimace after a couple of drinks. Rest assured, it doesn’t work for everybody.
Here’s a study about facial expressions and their attractiveness : http://www.cbc.ca/news/technology/story/2011/05/24/science-smile-men-attractive.html
I totally get the whole ‘happy’ v.s. ‘come hither’ distinction though! I know I’m a hopeless crazy smiler.
Another Smart post from you Admin 🙂
I have been looking for an explanation to what I witnessed first hand at a business lunch. There is an extremely attractive woman on my payroll who I have been working directly with due to her knowledge and ability to contribute on a large offering we are bidding on. One particular day, I asked her to join me for lunch as to not break the momentum we established during the morning.
At lunch, we are having a coffee, and she begins to play with her hair that she has pulled to one side, she tilts her chin slightly down and turns her eyes upward with no expression. I tell you, it was an unmistakable signal that she wanted sex. I will say, my wife has never given me that look ( which is too bad!) and I was immediately turned on physically (do the math) to the point that I had to delay getting up afterwards for fear that my excitement would be noticed.
For me, the look was so alluring, that I have searched the Internet to see if I can find it in photos, the ones above are decent, but not anywhere near the level of sexual offering I witnessed…….VERY POWERFUL!
I know the look the guy described above, I have also seen it. Basically, it is a look of “I submit to you” from a woman. The blonde at the very top has it, some of the other examples miss the mark. My girlfriend used to use it a lot when we first started datiting, when we were talking, she would become quiet and just stare at me, kind of looking up at me with her head tilted down. I always felt like she was a cat hunting its prey! Maybe that is where the term cougar comes from. Lol!