Okay. Fine. Part of the reason I was so quick to jump at the opportunity to travel with Turkish Airlines is because the trip included a round-trip Business Class ticket, and I have never flown Business  — so much so that I had to ask if it was the same as First (it is!!).

When my friend Katie – a frequent Business aka First Class flier heard about that element of this trip she said, “Holy Shit Jessie! GO. They literally come around with a cart full of appetizers!” She is right, but that is literally the least of it.

I used to use the potential opportunity to someday win an Oscar as the rationale for all my hard work and effort. From this flight forward I will use the opportunity to someday always fly Business Class. It it literally life motivation worthy.

It is currently 10:15pm PST and I am in my seat/pod/bed aboard my Turkish Airlines flight. I have just completed a 14 course meal and am two classes of wine deep. One of five beautiful flight attendants will soon bring me a cup of Turkish wellness tea, specifically the “Melissa” blend that aids in stress relief, sleep and jet-lag reduction. So now feels like the perfect time to painstakingly recount every item I have been delivered since stepping foot on this plane.

1. Pre-flight selection of juices. I went with the fresh-squeezed orange juice, which was
2. Godiva chocolate truffle in a tiny Godiva box
3. Small toiletry bag filled with socks, slippers, lip balm and essentially everything else you’d ever need. With it came a card about the elements included in preparing my “BOHCA” – the 15 odd blankets that turn my pod into a bed (there are actually only 5 elements, but one of them is a “Bel yastigi” – waist support pillow. If I had a nickel for every time my waist has not been supporting on an flight I could afford a Business Class ticket.
4. Turkish sweet (potentially “delight”) – a small, square gummy-ish candy-ish situation with white powder on top. 10 out of 10.
5. Hot, perfectly-smelling hand towel.
6. My bedding arrives in a little satchel that I will try desperately to steal from this airplane.
7. EXTENSIVE menu is delivered. With it is a separate check-off menu for my breakfast selection that will arrive when I wake inside my pod.
8. Linens are applied to my seat tray while I’m in the bathroom. They are the slate grey color that I hoped to find for my wedding but couldn’t.
   1. I decide the linens warrant a glass of wine so I order the Turkish Rose.
9. Mixed nuts. Adorable napkin. Turkish Rose delivered.
10. A dainty little porcelain tray with the tiniest salt & pepper shaker, butter, Turkish spices, an itty-bitty olive oil, and a tiny bag that was shortly thereafter filled with a delicious bread. Later on I discovered that the salt & pepper shakers are magnetized to the daity little porcelain tray because Albert Einstein himself outfitted this airplane.
    1. By spying on my neighbor I determine that you are to pour the oil into the Turkish spices to create a dip for the bread. I do so and my life is forever changed.
11. (Note: we are at 11!!!) More bread. New variety. I decide all this bread warrants another glass of wine. I try to Turkish Cabernet Sauvignon. It is lovely.
12. A gorgeous tray of appetizers appears. There are something like eight selections. I want them all but I choose the hummus, eggplant capponata situation, a smoked fish atop a cucumber and a crab cake. It is all delicious. I decide that on my flight home I will eat the remaining selections.
13. Hot tomato soup with croutons IN A GOLD-LINED BOWL.
14. My Main Course arrives. Oh, I forgot to mention that somewhere around #5 a chef’s hat-clad chef arrived to take my dinner order. I selected the salmon with grilled zucchini and a celeraic puree. It was wonderful.
15. A dessert try is rolled out with, again, 8-10 selections. I try the Turkish Baklava (sp?) because, when in Rome slash a five star airplane restaurant! It is wonderful.
16. My Melissa tea arrives on a silver tray with a gorgeous tea-cup and its own little tea pot that I will also try to sneak off this plane.
17. One of the now 17 flight attendants (I swear they’re multiplying) comes around to collect my breakfast order for tomorrow. Around me people are starting to turn their pods into BOHCA’s using the 21 sheets and pillows, but I’m too excited to sleep.
18. A bottle of water arrives because why not. Note: I have consumed six glasses of water already, but they’ve all been in a dainty stemless wine glass.

Oh, and every item on this list of EIGHTEEN moments has been lit by a tiny candly inside a little bag that says “candleight dinner, high above the clouds.” I want to live in this plane. Lucky for me, I do – for the next ten hours.

Update: 6:45AM PST. No idea what time it is where I actually am, or where I actually am. Just wanted to report that another hot towel came by (item 19), then a breakfast fruit tray complete with a cheese selection and muesli in yogurt (item 20) followed by the meal I ordered, an omelet of cheese and tomato with spinach and potatoes (21). Also, I slept for 8 hours straight.

Now time to get back to selling fifteen more books so I can get back here, stat. I recommend you do the same.

Next stop (aka first stop. I’m literally still on this plane/hotel): INSTANBUL.