I decided I was being a closed minded bitch. A second date was only fair and totally harmless (see Post Date Date Post below). It bears mentioning that he exhibited flawless post-first-date follow up. Also my 19 year old sister said, “What is wrong with you? Do you think you’re easy to understand after 2 hours – because you’re not.” Harsh, but valid.
Today we’re figuring out plans for Date 3. I had a great time on 2, and I’d like to see him again. Details available upon request.
Now D3 – in my limited understand of “adult dating” – brings us to a crossroads. We could/should/might hook up which could/should/might lead to a new/different dating situation. That’s a lot of X factors. So far – full disclosure – polite kiss, no tongue — I have a strict no tongue on the street policy. I am open to next steps, but indoor public places, while not streets, are also not permitted. This requires coordination. Gone are the days of dorms plotted a short stumble apart. Plus there’s the fact that I’m making a real effort to avoid all awkward, unnatural progressions. I’m trying to be classy. So at this point here are my assumptions:
1. Hooking up (within reason, details available upon request) would be socially acceptable on D3. It is likely in question for guy, as it is for me. That said not hooking up would also be socially acceptable, and would not lead either guy or me to believe that interest has waned.
2. Drunk hooking up would be far less meaningful than sober hooking up (obviously). But sober hooking up requires careful logistics – a pre-meditated hook-up. And a sober, pre-meditated hook up is, in my world view, serious. Hook up drunk and you have an excuse. Hook up sober and you have brunch.
I think it comes down to this: Hook up drunk after D3 and it becomes questionable whether you’re dating or just hooking up. Wait and hook up sober after D5 and you’re dating, exclusively.
Then again, as my sister Sara also said, “What is wrong with you? If you stopped over-thinking this and just let it happen you’d probably be better off – and live longer.”
Harsh, but valid. I’ve tried to explain to her that it is my civic duty as a Jesuit-educated person to serve others with my thoughts and questions in the context of these major life issues. Her response, “And this guy wants to go on a third date with you? He’s a keeper.”