Might Be a Quarterlife Crisis

February 26, 2008

quarterlife, reviewed

February 26, 2008

On being touched by a stranger

February 26, 2008
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So when I was in California last week for work, they picked up the tab for an afternoon at the spa for all of us. We were staying at a sweet resort for sales team meetings all week. As you picture this situation, remember that last week was also my first week working there. I met everybody on Tuesday afternoon, we had dinner and drinks that night (lots of them, my “work things” are apparently a little different than yours, Rosen). After a few glasses of wine, somebody brings up the question “tomorrow at the spa, do you care if you get a guy or a girl for your massage.” The guys in the group are divided.

Wednesday we had meetings all morning, and then various different appointments at the spa. I rolled over there at 3, acting like “I do this all the time.” The funny thing is: I don’t. Never had before, actually.
When I get there, a few of the girls and one other guy are all checking in as well. Holy crap, I realize. This has the potential for incredible awkwardness. They take us on a quick walkthrough of the place, and then send us to put our robes on and meet back in the “Relaxation Room.” Read: you cant relax in this room because your coworkers are here and you’re afraid something you aren’t supposed to see might slip out of a robe.
The other guy and I sit on one side of the room. The girls sit on the other. Everyone chats politely. Other coworkers emerge from their massages and join us, fully greased up and zoned out. Then a strong-handed looking young lady comes and takes the other guy away. Now its just me and them. Then a wimpy pierced-ear looking guy comes and calls my name. All the girls let out sighs of disappointment. I walk out, again, like I do this all the time.
I signed up for the deep tissue massage, basically because I’d heard good things. After the initial 5 minutes or so, I zoned out and it was really good. He was very careful to rearrange the sheets when switching legs, etc. Noted.
I feel like the whole situation raised some bigger questions in the group about level of self-confidence, etc. I leave you with these few to ponder yourself:
Next time, underwear on or off?
Does it really matter if its a guy or girl?


  1. underwear ON…always.

    PS The mental image of your “coworker bonding time” spent in the zen room awkwardly trying to make small talk in bathrobes is priceless. It’s bad enough to try to come up with something to say in the lunch room at a new job, but at least there, the most embarrassing it gets is not knowing you have food in your teeth.

  2. I’m with Shannon…underwear ON, regardless of whether it’s a guy or girl.

    Also, I think that girls give better professional massages, in my experience. But then again, maybe the guy I had was just crappy and should in no way be indicative of the male gender’s ability to give a quality professional massage.

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