Yeah. No.

They’re all good-looking, they live in huge apartments, and one of them said, “Sometimes I cry for no reason.” I could end there, but in due diligence – here’s a recap:

The show splices together 8-minute digital video clips that feel like 20-minute home videos to tell the story of a self-absorbed video blogger (vlogger…vom) named Dylan Krieger (Bitsie Tulloch). Dylan’s character is hard to sum up without the use of tone. Let’s just leave it at this line: “It’s my curse that I can see what people are thinking, what they want to say and can’t say, who they want to be with. And what good does that do me if nobody can see me?” When I figure out what the fuck that means I’m going to hate it/her.

Plot involves Dylan video-spying on her roommates Debra (Michelle Lombardo) and Lisa (Maite Schwartz) – literally turning the camera on them, without their approval. Note: people don’t do this in real life because it is a. really mean and b. borderline illegal. Also Dylan has known Debra since 9th grade. Nothing says a decade of friendship like exploitation. Debra has a boyfriend and wears glasses. Lisa is a blonde whore. That pretty much sums up their characters.

Dylan, Debra, and Lisa live in a large, artsy apartment across the hall from two funny, male neighbors, Danny (David Walton) and Jed (Scott Foster). Wait. That’s three close girl friends (one blonde, one sort of blonde, and one brunette) living across the hall from two close boy friends (one who looks like Chandler and one who looks like Joey). Right.

I didn’t like it. The characters, in my opinion, take themselves, their work, their thoughts, their plans, and their exploitations of each other (oh wait, that’s just Dylan to be fair) way more seriously than an actual 20-something has time for. There was not one scene in which someone got embarassed at work, overdrew their bank account, or met friends at a bar and talked about what was on TV last night. Ergo: unreal. Here are a few additional reasons I give it a no:

• Two words: Bitsie Tulloch. Actually, one word: Bitsie
• Danny dates Debra but Jed is clearly in love with Debra, the childhood best friend of Dylan who secretly loves Jed. And they all, conveniently, or is it inconveniently, my GOD the intricate folds of this love square are so confused and genius, live in the same building. Life is so cruel!!
• Dylan has both an entry-level job at magazine and time to create an intricate video blog of her every moment. Yep. Nope.
• The chronicling of this every moment is so significant that Dylan actually takes her laptop into the bathroom to continue vlogging (vom) while brushing her teeth. Those of you who are familiar with my feelings on the viewing of teeth brushing realize just how horrendous this is. Those of you who aren’t realize just how horrendous this is.
• The following conversation between Dylan and her mother:

  Mother who raised child to produce secret vlog about best friends: “You fought me when you were a baby. I never understood it. I was always trying to figure out what I was doing wrong.”

  Dylan: “Mom, did you ever think that I was just fighting to be who I was?”