Remember my good friend who couldn’t decide whether or not to make plans with that guy from her past? Here’s what went down:

She used the number he provided to call him. It was not a fake number, so he answered. She let him know she’d be in the area over the weekend and, would he maybe like to grab a drink? He said, definitely, I’ll call you Friday after work to make a plan.

He called Friday after work to make a plan and offered to have her meet him out that night. Saturday worked better for her so he said, okay, I’ll call you Saturday.

He called Saturday. They decided on drinks at this local bar. He offered to pick her up. She accepted. They went to drinks and had a great time. The great time culminated in a romantic gesture.

Upon parting he said I had a great time, do you maybe want to see a movie tomorrow? She said, that would be great. He said, I’ll call you tomorrow morning, we’ll work something out.

He called her the next morning so they could work something out. They’re getting together the next time he’s in New York and have spoken twice since.

This, though delightful, is a very boring story. It’s very boring because everything goes well, both parties are happy, and at no point while reading it are you compelled to say, what the fuck!?

It is also the most important think you’ll read today if not ever (I can’t remember if we’re done with Harry Potter’s or still have one more to go…).

Re-read the above but this time, pay special attention to all the games being played.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
(that was you reading)

Right. There are none.

Now go back and scan for instances in which one or both parties did something disappointing — something contrary to what they said they would do.

……………..
(that was because you get the point)

He said he’d call and he called – he didn’t text or facebook message or forget. She said sure, and accepted the ride. She didn’t say, nah I’ll just meet you there and then show up 15 minutes late, with a friend. When he had a good time he said so, and made an immediate second plan. She had a good time too, so she accepted without calling all of her friends to make sure it was the right thing to do.

I once spent five years trying to arrange one date with a guy. Another time I played text tag for two months with someone I randomly hooked up with because I really thought there was something there. And then there was that time I thought I was dating someone who, turns out, was not dating me back – a time I affectionately refer to as 2006.

In a phrase (and a brilliant book title) it should not be that hard – or, put differently, when it’s right, it’s right. You could also look at it as, it’s not happening for a reason – or (just one more time) if when your friends ask, “so, how’s it going with _____?” the first word out of your mouth is well…followed by the latest example of how things are confusing and you haven’t talked but have been texting and you were supposed to get a drink but it didn’t work out and you hooked up again but you’re not sure if it means you’re dating or not, still – walk away. Apparently it can be very simply and really fun right from the very start.

This is, of course, if you don’t want to play games, waste time, and feel a fool. Sometimes a little drama is better than a lot of nothing. Sort of like how low wages are better than no wages, but applied to relationships.

So if you’re content with 5 cents an hour because it’s enough for rice and water, let me know. I have some recommendations.