John – a friend I commonly refer to as the best man I know (no Mike, still not you) – passed along an interesting article the other day: Five Reasons NOT To Go on a Date.
While my concentration is usually focused on ways to get one date not avoid five, I gave a read. John is generally very thoughtful and mature. While the rest of us were making senior week hit lists we’d never follow through with he was solidifying lifelong happiness with a girl he didn’t have to be drunk to kiss. I’d read the the phone book if he told me to — and they’re still printing those.
According to CNN’s column The Frisky (first problem) – the 5 reasons are:
- You’re lonely (we’re 25 and single – if we only dated when we weren’t lonely we’d never date and thus be lonelier. This is illogical.)
- You’re desperate (define desperate…)
- You’re sick (fine.)
- You’re not over someone (but is it not true that the best way to get over someone is to meet someone new? My mom said it is.)
- You’re drunk (define drunk…)
John is not to blame, but these are not five good reasons. These are Sarah Palin reasons — crap. They sound like they might not be crap but then you come out of your glasses-reflection-induced trance, think about them for two seconds, and realize they’re stock crap. Also – you cannot be a team of mavericks. It is, by definition, an individual person thing.
Here are five real, specific reasons written in a spirit of bringing change and hope to the old ways of not going on dates through experience and a proven track record for success:
- This person was recommended by someone you do not like: If a is to b as b is to c then you won’t like this person either. That’s math, which I’m told you cannot argue with.
- This person blew you off two to three times prior to this date finally being scheduled: Once and maybe they were just sick…or drunk apparently. Two to three times and probably they are just an asshole.
- You are going to have to hide your date with this person for any number of reasons: Right. Probably telling.
- You aren’t attracted to this person and don’t see any possible future with them: See, dates are not things, they’re people. As such they should be treated with some degree of care. Some people believe you should go on dates with absolutely anyone just to practice going on dates. In my head that seems logical. Then I think about how I would feel if I knew I was someone’s practice round. I believe this is the golden rule which people pretty much agree is really valid.
For further questions please see John. He actually knows what he’s doing.