Liz made a very bold statement the other day – a bold statement that might – and I’m just forecasting here – save this great city. She said she thinks there is a direct correlation between the lack of house parties and lack of dating here in New York.

We were talking about the fact that three of her friends – not one or two but three individual people – had come out of various Halloween parties with dates — dates they did not have before entering and actually went out with thereafter.

“Of course,” I said, “that’s directly in line with my Costume Conversation theory.”

“No,” she said, “I think it was the house party element. They were all Halloween house parties. I think there’s something to the fact that you more easily meet people at house parties.”

The group fell silent – partly, I think, because our minds had been blown but mostly, I’m sure, because we didn’t know what a house party in Manhattan meant.

The environment doesn’t seem all that different than a bar, you’re thinking. It features the drinking of alcohol to loud music among people you do and do not know. Sure the booze is free and there’s a co-ed bathroom, but beyond that how different could they be?

About as different as a nursery and prison cell my friends.

The following intricate elements endemic to the adult house party scene are what make this environment ripe for the kind of interaction that leads to dates:

• The booze is free:

People who work in non-profits, media, and education often have trouble getting drunk to the point of approaching the opposite sex because drink prices here are socio-economically prohibitive. Sometimes they even refrain from going to certain bars on account of $7 drafts. As the old saying goes: a corporate lawyer may love an editorial assistant, but where would they make their drink?

The house party provides an equal opportunity environment for all members of young adult Manhattan breaking down barriers that previously prevented us from meeting while drinking.

• The bathrooms are co-ed.

The last time I met a guy in line for the bathroom at a bar he was too black-out to realize he wasn’t a girl.

In the house-party scenario the bathroom line is much like the line to buy textbooks that first week back to college. Easy opener (“ugh, long line, huh?”), cake-walk follow-up (“So, how do you know ______”), brilliant closer (“haha, okay, well I’ll see you back here in 20-30 minutes now that both our seals are broken!”). And, you’re in.

• It is smaller than a bar – much smaller.

Part of the problem with bars is that it’s often hard to get close enough to casually bump into and start dancing without someone without creeping them out. At a house party everyone starts in a state of creep-you-out-closeness such that minor bumps, taps, or grabs can seamlessly transition into conversation starters. “Oooh, sorry. Was that your hand? I meant to grab a beer.”

• You – Seven-Degrees-Of-Kevin-Bacon-style – already know everyone there.

Somehow you’re connected to anyone present by an e-vite forward chain. Not only does that give you a padded comfort zone to start talking to anyone you’d like, but it also means most of the people present probably check out. I mean, you’re there.

• The list goes on:

It’s easier to make-out seated on a couch vs. standing on a dance-floor. Nothing brings people together like an 8-layer dip. If you’re a smoker you may pop out to the fire escape with other smokers some of whom may be very attractive.

The theory checks out on all accounts offering one more dating aid to our ever-growing list of solutions (as a refresher it’s: hot dog cart at 3am, halloween costume, and going to a bar alone)
Liz – you do us proud. I look forward to the invitation to your upcoming holiday house party.

Same goes for the rest of you. I make a killer 8-layer.