I realize that without proper testing of theories discussed here within, this blog would be worthless.

And so:

I went to a house party this past weekend and met 8, maybe 10 men.

Endless factors present at the event contributed to my meeting these men in a non-awkward way. People flat-out introduced me to them. They flat-out introduced themselves to me. The degree to which it was not-at-all uncomfortable was, frankly, uncomfortable.

I then had casual conversations with said men that helped me assess whether or not I would be interested in dating them (Yeah, I’m a professional poker player so I basically sit on the couch all day and win money). I shared significant information about myself as an offering of ample insight into whether or not they would be interested in dating me (so, any plans to go to the inauguration?! I cannot wait! We’re finally saved!)

Several items came up that could easily have translated to invitations to hang out again (You love Benny’s Burritos?! I love Benny’s Burrito’s too!).

I consumed enough cups of cheer to render me comfortable making any number of forward, romantic moves confirming my interest in the men (I generally start with a lot of touching of the arm I’m closest to and proceed from there). Same goes for them.

Ultimately the scenario did not offer a match, but I can, with confidence, confirm that the theory is true.

A house party is viral territory.

Go to every single one you’re invited to from here on out. Or, in my case this past weekend, one’s your not.

BUT – for the love of God – enough with the Beirut. Making Beirut the central activity of an adult party is like preparing food for 1/3 of your dinner guests. Feed everyone. Play flip cup.