When I first moved to the city I met this guy with whom I had the greatest brain sex of my life.
We never actually dating, and I wasn’t even wildly attracted to him (outside the brain situation). But we had that indescribable mind connection where every conversation is like weird fore play – a quick rhythm of jokes, challenges, witty insults and flirts – where you say something looking for a certain response and you back a better one than you could have ever imagined. There’s banter, there’s challenge, there’s a manly pun or two…it’s just hot, consistently.
That doesn’t do it justice, but if you’ve had it, you know.
Brain sex is my Achilles heel. I can tell you within 10 minutes of meeting someone if we’ll be good together (in that way), and if the answer is yes then I’m putty — very obvious, totally transparent putty.
Everybody has their weakness – that one quality the opposite sex possesses that makes them weak in the knees slash judgment. I know a girl who loves more than anything to be taken care of – really smothered and pampered in the old-school spirit of chivalry. She dates lots of guys but with that variety she goes completely stupid.
I know a guy who’ll always fall head over heels for a girl who’s wildly independent and doesn’t really “need” him at all. He loves the game of wondering whether or not she’s really into it.
Jersey chasers, Band groupies, girls who love guys who have a bizarrely strong relationship with their mothers – we all have our hang ups.
I think mine is brain sex because I have a particular brand of humor slash reality that only really meshes with very specific people. That’s not to say that with 80% of people I’m only 80% myself; it’s that with .01% of people I’m 120% myself. It’s in that zone, with a guy, where things can really get dangerous.
Question is — how much does that mean? How much weight does – or maybe should that facet of my connection with someone hold? Are these weaknesses of ours the real sign we may be onto a “one” or just some weird turn-on manifested by whatever they did to us in pre-school?
Do I love guys who really give my mind a work out because they’re the one’s I’m most likely to find lasting, ultimate love with, or is it just a rush for me to go eight rounds with a guy, but eight months in I’ll be over him.
…it’s just one more question to add to that survey I plan to give to couples who’ve been happily married for over 60 years (let me know if you know any).
I never did hook up with the best brain sex of my life. We both ended up getting involved in half a dozen side projects and lost touch, but every once in awhile I go back and read some of the exchanges from our brief affair — the dozens of hysterical back-and-forths about absolutely nothing — and wonder how all that email would translate to dinner and a movie.
There’s a lot to be said for this so-called “brain sex”. I think what makes it so special is that this level of connection (or, type of connection) is hard to find. You may find bits and pieces of it in people that you meet, but having that spot-on sex of the brain is really rare. Then, when you do find it, something else isn’t quite right…
It’s a bitch, but I guess no matter what you always have your friends that get all of your jokes…
I totally know what you mean about brain sex! However, I have had it with three different guys and none of them turned into a significant other. And one of them, I am ashamed to admit, is now the boyfriend of one of my best friends. Ouch. Maybe in that case it was one-sided brain sex. Brain masturbation? Ok, I’m leaving this one alone.
I am attracted to men who have good grammatical skills. I can’t explain it.
I’m a guy, and I have brain sex with a few of my guy friends. Does that mean I have the gay?
grammAR is mARvelous
how’s that for brain sex ms. anonymous?
I’ve unfortunately had amazing, mind-blowing brain sex with guys, some more recently, some a long time ago, that translated into totally tepid or, worse, cerebral ACTUAL sex in the bedroom. It’s the ultimate let down…maybe the female equivalent of blue balls?
Is is possible to get brainfucked AND actually fucked on the same level? Or does a good brainbanging set you up for only moderately good sex because one just can’t compare to the other?
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