Awhile back my dentist went on a tirade about girls and their online dating habits. He said we’re all just too painfully detailed about everything we love and hate — that we don’t give a guy the chance for a little mystery.

Valid point, but as what you’re about to read clearly proves — it’s not just a girl thing.

I went back and forth on whether to publish the below, 100% real email that a good friend received via Yahoo Personals and blessedly passed my way. Mocking this person, even without mentioning their name, will in now way help my purgatory trial.

But then I thought about all the people that will be gifted a hearty and much-needed chuckle in these hard economic times by this comic correspondence. And then about the sad and confused people who, should I not point out never ever ever to send an email like the below might make this same mistake. And finally, I thought, it would be nice to have four posts this week instead of usual three.

The below is presented exactly as it was received, with my mean but correct comments in italics. Sorry, someone. Don’t ever do this, everyone else.

____________ wrote: Below are 30 interesting things about myself, i would like you to know off hand:

10 things about my personality:
1. Very Fair person
2. Open Minded.
3. Determined.
4. Quick thinker
5. I’m good for giving advice(…but not to myself…)
6. Logical thinker
7. I analyst things. (…that are not grammar)
8. Can be sarcastic at times.
9. Very funny when I drink. Average funny when I don’t (hahahahahah – also amen)
10. Very hard worker

5 things I accomplished:
1. Bought my first home at 27 years old
2. Finished college
3. Have a successful job in the I.T field
4. Don’t have any kids yet(I appreciate the fact that he too thinks this is an accomplishment)
5. 850 credit score(HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH – also, is that good?)

10 things I enjoy doing (including hobbies):(hobbies are things you enjoy doing)
1. Cooking.
2. Skiing.
3. Working out (jogging, upper body) (so we have a fat man with skinny legs and jacked arms)
4. Museums
5. Movies (sci-fi, romance, action)
6. Ice skating, Stargazing (together?! that seems dangerous…and cold)
7. Traveling – places i’ve been: 7a. London/ Paris 7b. Russia Moscow 7c. Hawaii and the islands 7d. Mexico/virgin islands/P.R./bahamas 7e.Canada/California/Florida (If these are grouped because they’e all in North America, fine. If they’re grouped because he thinks they’re all US states, trouble.)
8. Swimming (backstroke, side stroke, breast stroke, crawl stroke, deep water) (HAHAHA)
9. Writing (clearly….)
10. Learning piano

I know, I know, I know — the guy’s just trying to stand out from the crowd of online daters with a little personal info and a lot of effort — leave him alone!, you’re thinking.

Fine, but once you know all the stroke’s someone’s capable of, where’s the fun in waiting to find out their credit score?

Note: since reading this email I have cut all of my match.com correspondences in half.