• I said, “so what do you think he’s going to look like?”
• She said, “Oh I know what he looks like – my co-worker sent me a bunch of pictures of him.”
• “Oh,” I said, “Right. Well what do you think?”
• “I’m skeptical,” she said, “He’s fairly hot in most of the Summer pictures I’ve seen but seems to go through a rough pale period from October through the winter.”
• “Wow, okay…” I said, “So are you nervous you guys won’t have a lot in common to talk about?”
• “No,” she said, “she let me sign onto her Facebook so I could see his full profile.”
• “Oh, that’s convenient,” I said, “Does he seem like a good guy?”
• “Well yeah,” she said, “but I noticed that if he were a shoe he’d be a Haviana flipflop, and if I were a shoe I’d be an flatform heel, so I’m a little nervy about what that could mean.”

It used to be that blind dates were blind — as in, you wouldn’t know what the person looked like before you met them. Maybe someone would have a printed photo of the guy/girl they were pitching available, but if you lived far away they’d have to mail you that photo. And if you asked them to mail you a photo of someone they wanted to set you up with they’d probably rescind the offer. Even in the early days of the Internet you could do the chat room email thing but without digital pictures it was still a meeting in a cafe with a single long-stem rose stuck in a copy of Pride and Prejudice.

Now find me someone who does not have at least one digital photo of them accessible for email and I’ll refuse to go out with them because that seems fishy.

Today someone sets you up by showing you a digital photo of someone and saying, “does this look like someone you’d want to go out with?” You then follow up with, “yes, but what’s he like?” to which they likely respond, “log in as me on Facebook and check out his profile.”

The blind date as we (never actually) knew it is dead. One will never again have to sit at a table and pray that every 5’3″ bald guy in black jeans isn’t he’s-a-little-eccentric-but-give-him-a-chance Mike.

There are solid points on both sides of the “how much should you stalk” argument. Some people say the less “blind” the date the more your expectations will ruin it. Others say they’d rather know the person is a freak before they get their hopes (too far) up. I’ve both researched the guy like he was a candidate for the FBI and avoided any and all stalking sos to approach with an open mind. With the former I had plenty of “impromptu” conversation starters around topics I had a strong sense would be of interest. With the latter I didn’t accidentally say, “oh we shouldn’t go to Brass Monkey after dinner — you were just there last weekend for some guy’s birthday.”

I wonder if we’re missing out. If there’s something right-of-passage about the experience of going on a blind date. I think the answer is no because who wants to go through that, but one time I went out with a guy after meeting him in a fairly blurry state and the overwhelming fear of what he was really like inspired me to never, ever do that again.

Moral of the story. Blind dates have gone the way of pinning someone. It is now on you to control just how blind you want it to be.

My recommendation: stalk with caution. I am absolutely convinced that there’s a hacker app you can download to see who’s been looking at your Facebook page…