Others said – hell yeah I want to know

August 5, 2009

At 26: Mom, me, and choice

August 5, 2009

Bianca and Olivier gchat on the sex # issue

August 5, 2009
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The following is a real, unedited gchat conversation between 27-year-old-male and female friends around this issue of sex numbers — and some other fascinating stuff. Names have been changed for protection slash humor — and I also cut out a section where “Olivier” talks about “how many mexicans he has under his belt.” You don’t even want to know.

Read. Digest. Judge. Comment.

  • Bianca: OMG did you get an email from jessie about # of sex partner
  • Olivier: yeah but i forgot to respond
  • Bianca: if you liked a girl – and she had slept with 50 dudes – what would you think of that
  • Olivier: i would think…seeeee ya later – id stop liking her – what would u think abouta guy with 50?
  • Bianca: eh, probs think he was kind of dirty – idk – if someone tells you 50, and thinks there’s nothing wrong with that….I mean, come on! be smart enough to lie to me – hahahaha
  • Olivier: hahaa – it’s different though
  • Bianca: because someone could have only 2 – who happen to be like best friends – or sisters – or something – that’s dirtier
  • Olivier: hahaha yes – regardless of anything, there’s a gender difference here – the age old double standard — and like it or not, it still holds true. So what im getting at is this. If a guy fucks 50 girls, it’s like he succeeded — if a girl does the same, it’s like she failed…your’e probably gonna react sharply to that
  • Bianca: do you agree wtih that yourself? do you TRULY admire a dude who’s slept with tons and tons of girls?!
  • Olivier: not in those black and white terms — but i definitely think about both cases differently. No, i wouldnt say i admire or even aspire to that, but how about this – would you say that if you liked a guy who was a virgin? or slept with only 1 girl – -would that…umm let’s use the phrase “turn you off” at least slightly?
  • Bianca: ummm not a turn off – but it wouldn’t get me all pumped to sleep with them – hahahahha – I think guys wouldn’t mind that as much
  • Olivier: right, basically the lower # a girl has, the better
  • Bianca: it depends
  • Olivier: the virgin thing is debatable
  • Bianca: a virgin -yikes
  • Olivier: the virgin thing is a lifelong debate with valid points on both sides
  • Bianca: one girl – a long relationship? could be amazing – it’s all just case by case
  • Olivier: personally, at this point i wouldnt want a virgin
  • Bianca: there’d be a LOT of pressure
  • Olivier: but above zero, the lower the better
  • Bianca: like, I think I’m more attracted to more laid-back people
  • Olivier: and i think i speak for at the very least 99% of all Pierren
  • Bianca: I think people’s numbers should be based on the last 5 years
  • Olivier: so if a guy has a low number — a too-low number — that can be undesirable or not great
  • Bianca: no no
  • Olivier: no? i thought u said yes, in certain terms
  • Bianca: well – I guess it depends on the terms, yes — I don’t feel like teaching someone how to do it
  • Olivier: right
  • Bianca: even tho most guys require that anyway – no offense
  • Olivier: but what about the idea that there might be something wrong with him if his # is too low – like, he wasn’t able to get more than 2 girls to sleep with him?? why am i sleeping with him?
  • Bianca: I wouldn’t think soPierrething’s wrong with HIM, but his skills might not be so hot
  • Olivier: that thought process doesnt happen?
  • Bianca: nah
  • Olivier: hmm – interesting
  • Bianca: because a dude who’s slept with 100s of girls probably just picked up dog
  • Olivier: probably, but what about a guy with 15? – vs. a guy with 2-3
  • Bianca: I don’t know
  • Olivier: case by case
  • Bianca: I can’t answer hypothetical’s — I don’t think rationally if I like someone
  • Olivier: fair- hahahaha
  • Bianca: I like them – and chances are – I won’t like the type of guy who’s banged out everyone on the planet – but the diff between 3 and 15 — eh? Also – I fully expect that everybody lies
  • Olivier: ok, this is another topic
  • Bianca: I mean maybe not, I just automatically assume people aren’t being honest
  • Olivier: girls deflate, guys inflate?
  • Bianca: about their past — yeah, probably — or not – OMG – I just think it’s a pointless topic of discussion!! even though we discussed it the other night — it’s futile – OMG I have like a million questions about hte male race
  • Olivier: hahahaha
  • Bianca: well here’s one – if a girl sleeps over – do you expect she’s going to sleep with you?
  • Olivier: no
  • Bianca: see you’re a bad example because I feel like you’re actually a stand-up guy
  • Olivier: well
  • Bianca: I want to talk to some dirty asshole who will make me mad!
  • Olivier: i dont expect it…but im still disappointed if it doesnt happen – and it also depends on the events up until then
  • Bianca: haha but aren’t you disappointed if it doesn’t happen – like – you always want the end result to be sex – because you’re a boy
  • Olivier: aaah – well yeah but there’s a realistic chance of it happening if she’s sleeping over
  • Bianca: what if you like soPierreone and she gives it up right off the bat – turn off? – I say yes
  • Olivier: if I like her, yeah – as in – if I like who she is – more than physical – if it’s just physical – then no, not a turn off
  • Bianca: right – like if you would consider dating her – but then she sleeps with you, deal’s off?
  • Olivier: i wouldnt rule it out…no, not a dealbreaker – just not ideal – and I’d investigate further
  • Bianca: hahahaha – talk about a double standard
  • Olivier: yeah – that’s a tough one for girls, i admit
  • Bianca: see, but I think girls agree with that – like if I like a guy I’m not going to sleep with him – and I know plenty of girls who would want to – but hold out for the very reason they know it’ll be a turn-off
  • Olivier: yeah, sure – but if he likes you back, then he’ll like you more — and it’ll eventually happen — if u both like each other
  • Bianca: exactly – well it’s kind of true what your mom always tells you — like don’t give up the cow thing
  • Olivier: if he doesnt like u back, then hes prob still going to try to sleep with you anyway, at least one more shot, and then maybe youll sleep with him — so worst case, u end up having sex either way – wait — the cow thing?? – what’s that?
  • Bianca: he won’t buy the cow if he can get the milk for free
  • Olivier: hahahahhaahhhhahahahahahhaa — wow


  1. Hmm… VERY interesting conversation…

    I think girls should hold out. Make the guy court you for a little bit, you will get A LOT out of it.

    Although, this is coming from the girl who slept with her boyfriend on the 2nd date… 😐 The first date was REALLY good so there was nothing I goo do to screw anything up… 😛

  2. Hmmm, I *really hope he’s wrong and the double standard doesn’t still persist.

    That said, if it *does persist, the moral of this story is that women should just always round down. We can get everything we want – sex with as many partners as desired, in addition to the one who is asking us our current # of sex partners – by just making men believe we are less sexually experienced than we actually are.

    So bizarre… men want as close to a virgin as possible, yet they want someone who’s a freak in the bed. I think the latter tends to evolve the more experienced you are. But call me rational.

  3. so a girl who’s slept with 1 person is perfect but virgins are bad? i see the added pressure, but it’s all kind of wack. although i guess a guy virgin would freak me out..

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