“Hey! Jessie! I’m so pumped. I thought of a bunch of stories to tell you so I can finally make the blog!” Kennedy said to me 1.5 minutes after I arrived at dinner. He was 8-10 people down from me at a 10-12 person table positioned in a room so loud he had to yell it for me to hear. This did not stop him.
I haven’t seen Kennedy in approx two years aaanndd had no idea he reads this blog but material and straight, male fans are two things I’d be foolish to refuse. Unfortunately Kennedy was too drunk to get out more than one story. Fortunately, for his fifteen minutes of fame, it was a good one.
Kennedy works in an office where he has important superiors. Superiors you not only want to please but want to curry favor with (if that is in fact the saying…) whenever possible.
One such superior had taken interest in Kennedy’s dating life and, upon finding out that Kennedy didn’t currently have a dating life, strongly recommended he go on a date with a fellow employee. This is where I’m fuzzy, but somehow this person works among Kennedy but not directly with him such that the superior thought it totally appropriate for them to date. Not important. He gave the green light.
“So here’s the thing,” he tells me, now from the seat directly next to mine where I unexpectedly found him after I returned from the bathroom, “she’s fine looking. Fine. Not bad. Just fine…you know what I’m saying?”
“Yes,” I said, “I know what you’re saying.”
“Like fiiine, but not great. Like, maybe great to some guys, but just fiine to me,” he said.
“Yep,” I said, “got it.”
And then he said something to even further clarify his very clear point that I won’t repeat here sos not to tarnish his moment in the spotlight.
The issue: this superior wants very badly to make the set up happen, but Kennedy knows he’s not really interested in dating this girl. He’d be fine if something maybe happened with this girl after, say, the company Christmas party (see above), but a formal date – especially one initiated by this important superior would be a bad idea – “right?” he asked.
“Very right,” I said.
So then, he wanted to know. What are his options?
- Tell the absolute truth to this very important boss? “Thanks so much sir, but this girl you think is perfect for me is actually not my type at all.”
- Lie to get out of it? “Thank you so much sir, but I actually just started seeing someone, so it wouldn’t be appropriate for me to go out with this girl.”
- Or just take the recommendation, go, and make something up afterwards? “Thank you so much again sir. We had a nice time, but I’ve just recently decided to become a vegetarian, and she’s not, and I think it would be too difficult for me to date her at this time.”
Let’s take a pause for a moment for me to disclaim the answer I’m about to give.
I understand that lying is not appropriate in most-to-all circumstances. It is wrong, inherently, and I know this. That said, I believe that there are circumstances where you are best served by telling a variation on the absolute truth that mitigates strong, negative issues that all parties involved would experience by telling the absolute truth. Case in point, this case (or do I just say “Case in point.”?…)
No good is going to come from Kennedy telling this superior that he’s just not attracted to the girl. He could very well say, “you know sir – thanks so much – but she’s just not my type. I actually prefer ________ girls” but that’s just going to open the flood gates for this superior to set Kennedy up with every ________ girl he knows. At the same time, a lie as blatant as, “sorry, I’m actually seeing someone” is just going to bite Kennedy in the ass because the superior clearly has no problem meddling in work people’s love lives. And so – in my opinion – Kennedy is left with one slightly weird option that, technically speaking, is a lie. It’s the – “Thanks sir – appreciate you thinking of me – but I have a strict no-dating-anyone-associated-with-work policy. Just a personal rule, so I’m going to have to say no to the idea of the set-up,” response.
Yes, this superior may protest – he may say, “come on! I authorize it! everyone around here does it,” and that may be true, but Kennedy has every right to head the warning of the don’t-shit-where-you-eat principal. The superior will have to respect that. Game over.
And yes, Kennedy may some day find himself in a compromising position with someone from the office, but in that case he can either keep it quiet or plead black-out…
I gave Kennedy this advice as we were leaving the restaurant, but I’m not sure he got every detail straight. Lucky for him this story became his blog premiere, so it’s all captured right here for him to review at any time.
Thanks Kennedy. Great to see you. And let me know when you want to talk through the rest of the bunch of stories. I could use a Wednesday topic…
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Could he tell his boss that he’s not interested in seeing someone right now, so he’d rather just be friends with this girl (perhaps citing his absolute devotion to work as a reason his love life is on hold)? There will, inevitably, be a woman from work he will want to see after hours. Plus, what if his boss authorizes his dating someone really hot? Don’t want to screw that one up.
-1 for having a friend who is a guy named Kennedy.
Faye is obviously a distressed Republican.
And “Fay” from What About Bob? was not spelled with an “e”.
I’m obviously not Fay from What about Bob? Fay is a fictional character.