Thanks to all who came out to the second installment of The Hook-up Conversations Tuesday night. You packed the house for another great session of awkward, hysterical, shocking, and devastating “conversations” all around that oh-so-familiar topic of hooking up.
I’m thrilled to announce that we’ve been invited back to do it all again – so stay-tuned for new performance dates (yes, plural) to come.
Until then – one of the pieces from the show tackles that stomach-turning issue of confessing your feelings to a friend you wish was something more. Whether or not you can be friends after was the question on Monday, but the even more impossible one to answer is what to do when things have clearly gone too far – when you know you finally have to say something. In this piece GRACE is confronted with that moment and decides to take a road (which I think we can call the high one) that captures so much of what so many people are probably dying to say.
Performed by the incredibly talented Miss Evangeline Reilly – this one tends to leave people in a state of whoa…
As with all The Hook-up Conversations, this monologue is between GRACE and an invisible conversation partner – in this case her “platonic best friend” Matt. We don’t see Matt…thank god…
GRACE
by
Jessie Rosen
Lights up on a girl perched on a
bar stool, seemingly very fidgety…
as in drunk
GRACE
(with pauses between the lines.
She’s tipsy, but not fully drunk)
Wait…is this that group that you love? On the juke box
now?… No – hahaha – lis-ten. It is, right? You put them on
the last CD you made me. They’re good. Oh, you know what
else I really like from that CD…
(she hums the lines from MGMTs “Kids”)
Do, do, do, do, dooo do, do do…hahaha….Whaaa’s that one?
(She’s interrupted)
What?
(pause, confused look)
Oh – you’re ready to go? Okay. Where to?
(pause)
Yeah – get out of here? that’s fine – where do you want to
go? Pizza? Or you want to meet the guys over at Brian’s
place? They’re there, right?
(she yawns)
I think I’ll go home if you’re going to do that but…
(she’s interrupted, pauses
after hearing what he says, startled)
Oh – you? Oh… leave with you?
(pause, her voice registers
more sober, she’s saying this to herselfnow)
Leave just with you. And go to your place…
(pause)
And you’re not hungry. So you just want to… Right. I’ve got it now.
So… that’s interesting.
(pause)
I mean – sorry – I don’t mean interesting I just mean…I
just mean it’s a surprise. I just didn’t think you…
(he interrupts her again)
Right, right. We are here. And we are drunk.
(pause, he says something that
makes her chuckle, nervously)
Ha. And we are fun together. I just – I mean, I didn’t think
you thought about us that way.
(pause)
…well, thank you.
(he interrupts)
Yeah, no, I know – it’s just we have this…
(again…)
Right, right, but I just wanna be sure this isn’t…
(and again. Now there’s some
skepticism in her voice…)
I do trust you it’s just there’s a little more to it than
that. Because we don’t do this. Well, we do this, but wee
don’t do this. And I didn’t think we were going to do this – ever.
(pause)
No. I mean, yes. It does feel right. That’s not the issue.
(pause, he asks what more is
there to it?)
Well, the more-there-is-to-it is that I’m afraid that
we’ll…or that you’ll…Fuck…
Okay…I’m afraid that this’ll be a mistake.
(pause, his question is, “what’s the big deal?”)
What’s the big deal…? Oh – wow. I get it.
This is the same as the everything else.
(pause, he presses her to
leave. Now there’s a bit of
anger or upset in her voice.)
Yeah, no. I know you’re ready to leave now. Listen, this
isn’t quite how I imagined this going but here we are so…
(he interrupts)
No – stop. Here’s what’s going to happen now. I’m going to
say something – somethings technically. And I need you to
just listen until I’m done, please. And if you agree with any piece of
anything I’m saying we’ll just take it from there. But if
you disagree with what I say – if what I say isn’t something
you ever thought I’d say – and isn’t something you wanted me
to say then I want you to just say, “I’m sorry – did you just
say something?” and then I’ll say, “nope – you must have
briefly blacked out,” and then you’ll say, “okay.” And we’ll
leave the bar and go home. How’s that?
(we assume he agrees)
Okay, so then here it is.
I have feelings for you. Feelings feelings.
As in, sometimes when I spend time with you I’d prefer if time
just stopped and we kept doing whatever we were doing forever.
I have trouble being myself, but not with you.
I have trouble laughing without faking it, but not at you.
I have trouble not obsessing over things like how long it’s taking
the waitress to run the credit cards through the credit card
machine or if the pint glass she’s serving us was actually
washed or just dipped inside that gross basin of beer water,
but not if you’re here.
I think there’s a chance that you make me a much
better version of myself, and if I’m not misreading all
Nicholas Sparks books, that’s what a girl should be looking
for. I’m not sure when I realized this. I’m not sure if it’s
going to go away anytime soon. I’m not sure if I ever should
have said anything, but at some point this started to become
a bit of a thing in my head. A big bit of a thing. Sooo.
So yes, I want to go home with you right now…slash in
general, but in my head that’s because we both have feelings
for each other that we should probably figure out. Nothing
with a title or a time-line, but not one of those things you
laugh about and then don’t make eye contact for six to nine
weeks. I’ve done that. And that’s fine. But I can’t do that
with you…
So if this is “come home with me because I think I
maybe feel what you’re saying you maybe feel” then okay –
yes. But if this is “come home with me because you’re here
and I’m drunk” which…which by the look on your face right now is
exactly what this is… Then no.
Actually, no – and ouch. And…actually, fuck you. I’m not
every other girl you hook up with. I don’t deserve that. So.
(she takes a deep breath and then stands up)
I’m done now.
3 comments
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Reading this made me really want to see the show next time. Do you have a date yet?
Stay-tuned! We’re hoping for a April 5th return…
That was really awesome Jessie. I might send it to some friends, it’s exactly what each of us want to say – need to say – at one point or another. The scenario is both skeevy and romantic and hilarious and that girl kicks ass!