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Re-writing the meaning of the “career-obsessed” woman.

March 24, 2010

The Why-we’re-single Series: because we think we’re going out to meet people, but we’re not

March 24, 2010

The truth is, we all know why we’re single.

March 24, 2010

I stumbled across a post from one “Nick” of Wade the Tides on a post of one “Polly” of The Hitchlist the other day. Nick wrote an impressively detailed expose on why he’s single including what appear to be power-point-sourced charts highlighting several of his more mathematic points (…while I contemplate adding videos but think, that seems harder than not adding videos…).

Nick’s point: several easy-to-uncover factors contribute to his singledom ergo it’s not shocking that he’s single. Nick is a heavily tatooed rocket scientistic with very specific taste in women. I think he’s suggesting it has something to do with that, but I couldn’t quit decipher the chart.
Between five and thirty-five times a month I take a quick assess of my world and think to myself out loud – “why I am single…?” (except: “wa-eeeyyyeee am I siing-gguullll??)
Sometimes it happens when I see a particularly misfit couple (what I call a 10-and-2 – a term I realize applies to proper driving, but I don’t participate in that, so I’ve changed it). Or when I watch some reality television program in which an unacceptable woman is somehow beating sensible men off with a stick. (Dear Stephanie Pratt – wash your hair). Or when I stumble upon pictures of a since de-friended ex via the album of a mutual friend and note the series of clues proving he’s dating someone new (it’s all in the picture-pose lean…)
Regardless, my sentiment is generally a combo of wtf?! and really? REALLY?!

But, when I step away from Benny’s all-you-can-drink Mimosa brunch (like, they keep it in a pitcher and just walk that pitcher over whenever your glass isn’t full) and into a place of greater self-awareness (read: a phone call with my Mom) – I find that I, like Nick (sans the charts), could probably tell you precisely why I’m single. (note: not entirely unrelated to Monday’s career-obsessed post).
We tend to be all the-universe-is-against-me about the New York dating scene, when in reality it’s far more numbers-and-charts than we’re willing to admit (slash can understand).
And so in a spirit of growing the hell up I’ll be exploring the reasons we’re single. Reasons like:
  • because we think we’re “going out to meet guys” but we’re not
  • because we refuse to do online dating
  • because we don’t position ourselves as approachable people
  • because we’re waaayy too picky
  • because we want to be single, and guys can tell
Let me be clear – this will not be a series of explorations into why everything is our fault because men are just muscly angels who would love us to pieces if we’d just make ourselves easier to snag. This is – here’s the scene, here are the detail, here are our actions – sooo maybe we shouldn’t be so shocked.
We start tomorrow with: because we think we’re “going out to meet guys” but we’re not.

3 comments

  1. I just wanted to say thank you for writing about this/giving me a plug. Oddly enough, I wrote about my adventures in Online Dating the other night. (http://wadethetides.com : Plug, v2.0!) A lot of things you’ve written about lately parallel some of my own posts… Especially the latest career obsessed woman one.

    Cheers to you, miss.

  2. So true! I saw your article about the shopping cleanse on Lemondrop.com! I felt instantly relieved to know there are women out there just like myself going through the same issues! Shopping addiction, yup! Graduating college-supporting yourself-credit cards et cetera… OMG I am right there with you! Very inspirational and this “Why We’re Single” post tops the cake! The reasons you listed.. totally agree! I have a blog I am TRYING to get up an running (so busy with work) You’ve given me some much needed motivation! Thanks!

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