Below is the latest in my series from guest-writers looking to purge their “I checked-out” stories for the betterment of us all. Today’s story comes to us from MLB and contains an interesting look into the state of the education system.. Enjoy, and please send your own tales my way – [email protected].

Although I haven’t “checked out” from my unhappy status-quo, for the past six months I’ve given it a good amount of consideration. I graduated from college in 2008; I did it in 4 years, never missing a beat, graduating with an English degree and ok-marks, with the idea that there was going to be a yellow brick road waiting for me on the other side of the graduation ceremony, just waiting for me to set out on the adventure of finding a great job and living life. Fast-foward 3 years and I’m 25, I haven’t found a “real” job yet, my permanent residence is still at home with my parents, I’m very much single, and I have some debt because I caved around 21 and started getting credit cards.

At 24 I began to see that going down the path I’d chosen when I was 15 years old (being an English nerd I realized I wanted to be a high school English teacher) was actually not working out. I’ve been a substitute teacher making the bare minimum at the same high school for 4 years now. When I started at the school, my family, friends & co-workers all told me, “Oh you’re putting in your dues, your time will come.” Well it didn’t come at 22, 23, or 24. And by the time I turned 24 & 1/2, I was having a quarter-life crisis: I was going to be half-way through my twenties, half-way to 50- and what had I done with my life??? Where was I going?? What was I doing?? Who AM I?!?!

While working at the high school, I became friendly with a 20-“something” teacher: she’s older than me, she got in that window during the early to mid-2000s when there were jobs and a burst of young adults were hired all over- she has the perfect boyfriend, perfect black lab, and perfect house. She works on Martha’s Vineyard in the summer, and she hooked me up with an awesome summer job working for a beach department. I work until 1pm every day then go to the beach until 6ish. I did it last summer and I’m here now. Having this experience of freedom away from my “normal life” has shown me how restrained I was living in the same place I’ve been since I was a child, unearthed feelings that I’m not even on a totem pole at a job I’ve worked at for four years, and feelings that I’m doing everything I can to impress the powers-that-be to give me a job (not just at that school, but at the 20+ other schools I’ve applied to and the two schools that actually gave me interviews). It’s belittling, it has dimmed my charm & humor, and I’m starting to resent my educational choices and career path. I was meant to be a high school teacher: working with teenagers is my niche. But being a high school teacher is just one of my dreams & goals- not my only one. At 25 I think I’m seeing that I’ve put everything else on hold because the economy has put me on hold. I’ve been stuck in a rut for far too long, putting in dues with no promise for anything in return.

So that’s why I want to “check out” as well. I think it’s important to note an anonymous commenter’s point that “Your friend is lucky that he has the luxury of being able to leave his job simply because he’s not happy”. With monthly bills & no egg of money, I don’t have that luxury. Having friends out here whose family’s “have money” and watching as they up-and-leave for Colorado, Phoenix, Seattle, knowing their parents can assist them, I won’t lie- I’m envious.

I think I reached a point where I thought, I’m not going to be single without any ties forever. Now is the time to try- maybe I’m naive, but I have a blind faith that if I take the jump off the edge, I’ll somehow get caught & land safely. If I move across the country without a job & believe that it’ll work out, it will. What’s the worse that could happen? I’d come back home and start subbing again. I’d be doing a disservice to myself if I didn’t at least try. That’s how getting onto MV in the summer started- it’s wildly expensive and I wouldn’t know anyone but my 1 friend, but this was my opportunity to do “something big” after college. I came out and had the time of my life, leaving here in September 2010 feeling like I’d learned more about myself in 3 months than I had unearthed in 3 years.

I have my heart set on not returning to the high school in September. Between my own schooling and college, then right into working at a high school, I have been around education for 21 years. What will it be like to do something totally irrelevant to what I am so use to? Who will I be without some form of education in my life? Maybe I’m meant to be an entirely different person than I think I am.

Mid-twenties is a time of self-discovery I have determined. I feel there is so much of me yet to unfold, and returning to the same job, wishing something permanent would come my way- is stifling. So I commend your friend for doing the hard thing and walking away from something good because he determined it was hurting who he was.