A good friend of mine recently went through what can only be described as a very mature break up. Both parties were polite. Both parties were honest. Both parties felt respected in the process. That does not mean there wasn’t heart ache and disappointment, it just means no one was in blatant violation of my previously outlined rules of breaking up. All seemed discussed and settled; the two would part ways, indefinitely.

Or…until a few days later when one among the set (obviously not my friend) sent a message via an iPhone app game. It was a friendly message, but an unwelcome and unexpected hello. Seems they had forgotten to break up over all the necessary digital channels. According to Words with Friends, they were still friends, exchanging words.

Turns out breaking up – like all of life – is now a multi-prong, digital process. You can do it IRL (as the tween set says), and as respectably as it comes, but then you have to work through what to do re: Facebook, Twitter, Linked In, Words with Friends, Hangin’ With Friends, Instagram, FourSquare, and any other tools that previously suited your collective fancy. Mutual or not, amicable or hate-filled, no one wants to be reminded that it’s “their turn to make a move.” It’s not. All moves have been made. The game is officially over. (that’s Words with Friends puns, in case you’ve foolishly decided against counting).

So, what to do? You’ve had the break up convo, post break-up e-mails, and post break-up e-mail convo. How do you slink out of the followings, friendships and games?

The way I see it, you’ve got three options:

1. Cut off all ties without explanation

Unfriend, un-follow, end game. It’s not the most mature thing you’ll ever do, no, but who cares? The relationship ended. You don’t owe it to Words with Friends to finish the game. Words with Friends doesn’t care…in its current version.

Regarding whether or not you’re upsetting the other party in your former party of two is the real issue. Will he/she be hurt? confused? sad? Or, worse yet, will they think you’re an immature, sad sack who couldn’t finish a freaking game of digital hangman that isn’t even called hangman?

For lack of kinder way to say this, who the hell cares?!?! You are no longer in a relationship. If you’re the breaker-upper concerned about the dumpee, that’s kind, but unnecessary. You’re only hurting your former flame more by giving them hope that if the game lives on, so too might your love. If you’re the dumpee concerned about whether or not the person who just dumped you will find your process of digital detaching rude or immature then kindly remind yourself that this person just opted against dating you. Their rights to stalk your Facebook page have officially ended.

2. Cut off all ties with brief, awkward explanation

Full disclosure, this is what I would do because I’m too chicken to end it all without some formal statement like, “I think it would be best if we stopped playing this game of online Scrabble for obviously reasons.” I can’t decide if I would go through with a de-friending or de-LinkedIn-ing, but those are easier to manage because the other person doesn’t receive a, “Jessie ended your game,” message.

If you do deploy this more PC method of cutting ties, try to do it with as little melodrama as possible. Your goal is to remain the bigger, better person through this break up. That gets hard if you send a message that reads, “I was going to play GOODBYE, but I didn’t have the letters…seems fitting…”

3. Do not engage in digital game play or social networking with someone you have been dating for one year or less.

Do you really need to be playing digital hangman with a person who you talk to 25 times a day? I realize the answer is yes, you need to be playing digital hangman with as many people as humanely possible so there isn’t a moment in the day when you’re left with zero options for procrastination. But still, there’s something to be said for keeping it closer to the chest. Of course, I’d probably give pause to someone who refused to accept my LinkedIn request until we’d be dating for a bit longer.

I know it’s awkward. I know it’s uncomfortable. I know it requires a degree of self control not common to our generation. But just think, 10 years ago you’d have to drive your Cabriolet over to some jerks apartment and pick up your CDs in person. This is way better than that.

*1,000 points for you if you noticed that, if you had the letters in the image up top, you could spell RIP, which is one brilliant way to end the game/relationship.