I officially made the move into R’s spacious one bedroom apartment this past weekend. Here, in no particular order and without any editing, are my thoughts on the very new living situation:

• Wait…crap…now he can see all my clothes in one place. A. this is bad because there are arguably too many of them, and he is arguably wondering if he’s signed up for a life of never having more than 1/4 of the walk-in closet and B. if I get something new, I’m really going to have to hide it in there, which is going to throw off the WHOLE color-coding system!!

• See above. Replace “my clothes” with “my shoes.” Layer in the fact that he has already identified two pair of shoes which he believes to be identical. (They’re so not)

• So what happens if I have to go to the bathroom while he’s in the shower? Like, go to the bathroom go-to-the-bathroom… Do I go in there while he’s in the shower?? Do I make him stop the shower, get out, and wait a beat while I…? Or, does the Bread Bar on 3rd have a public restroom?

• Alright. I’m starting to get it now. The point of having many food items in your fridge at all times is so that when you are hungry for a given meal or snack there is something for you to eat. He might be onto something…

• What’s the best practice here? Let the shirts-to-be-dry-cleaned sit in a ball on the floor until it’s appropriate to discuss a less on-the-floor place for them to live, or establish that place without discussion and wait until he goes looking for the shirts to explain where they now live?

• Is 50% of the DVR capacity now reserved for me? Or does it go 30% him, 30% me, 30% us? Because if it’s 30/30/30 then someone is going to need to learn to love House Hunters a little more slash at all.

• Does the scent of a candle require approval of both parties? What if one party doesn’t even really believe in candles? Then, by default, the other party gets to pick the smell, size and quantity of whatever candles they deem necessary, right? Because everyone logical knows that candles are an integral part of home decor, and anyone illogical can’t be trusted to say that freesia smells like a funeral. Right?

• How bad is it if you throw away an important piece of mail belonging to the other person? Wait. I mean if you maybe throw it away. You’re definitely not 100% sure you threw it away, but, yes, it’s possible that there’s a chance you threw it away when you were painstakingly organizing the “mail” vs. “keepsakes” baskets that now live on the bookshelf. It’s bad, right? I mean, it’s maybe bad.

• Precisely how rude is it to fall asleep 1-2 hours earlier than your boymmate/roomfriend (I refuse to use the term L.I.B – live in boyfriend) 75% of the time?

• When a man says, “no more pillows,” he’s referring to the surface before which he currently stands, correct? So if that statement occurs before the living room couch, one can only assume that it is perfectly appropriate to purchase more accent pillows for the bedroom bed.

• Isn’t the saying “less is more” obsolete if, in fact, “more is more.” Applications to consider: picture frames on walls and/or flowers in vases.

• Isn’t the saying “style over substance” obsolete if you know the yellow houndstooth rug is the only rug that will look correct in the space? Applications to consider: under my vintage eggplant purple desk.

• Can you only say, “I got you a gift for the apartment!” if the other person will use it and/or at least like it? Follow up: what is it called if they won’t do either?

• If, despite the above neurosis, everything is going incredibly well, and it feels like you’ve lived together for years, does that mean everything will go incredibly well as you live together for years? Because, despite some minor neuroses, I didn’t second guess this move for a minute, and in spite of the above neuroses, I’m feeling like my gut was 100% right.

Posts on the new living situation will be less plentiful moving forward, but your thoughts/comments/advice are always welcome!