I desperately want someone to write an article about men who feel bad about not staying home to raise their children or men who worry about not being successful enough for their family. Could someone please, please write that article instead of the dozens of articles per year (it feels like in The Atlantic alone) about the plight of the working mother?
Don’t get me wrong. I appreciate any coverage of woman-kind, especially on the topic of the balancing act that is female adulthood. This latest on the list – “Why Women Still Can’t Have It All,” is written from the vantage point of a Anne-Marie Slaughter – a woman who does not think it’s possible for her gender to be a wildly successful career woman and equally successful mother…and be happy.
“It’s time to stop fooling ourselves, says a woman who left a position of power: the women who have managed to be both mothers and top professionals are superhuman, rich, or self-employed. If we truly believe in equal opportunity for all women, here’s what has to change.”
I need some time to fully form my opinion on this lengthy piece, but in the meantime why don’t you give a read and share your own thoughts in comment. I guess if they’re going to keep writing about this, we’re going to have to keep responding.
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As the mother of a young child (a one-year old girl) I do have to say that the structure of our society, in every way, demands that the woman is the MAIN, most responsible parent for the child’s wellbeing…down to changing tables found predominately in woman’s restrooms. So, the natural tendency in a two-parent relationship is for the woman to bear the majority of the “burden” of child-rearing. BOTH parents share in the joys…beaming at your wonderful creation, watching them develop over time. Woman can do SO MUCH in both career and family life, which is good, because hard work is required in both arenas. But, there is only so much a woman can do…and someone… a boss, a co-worker, a spouse, or a baby… may end up feeling “gypped”. (Sorry if I’ve offended any gypsies reading your blog).
Read the article….long one…but really good, insightful perspective. I pretty much agree with what the author is saying that basically what our society values will be manifested. We’ve gotta have the petty mundane arguments with our workplaces and with our leaders that show them that we’re being misrepresented. If schools were in session from 8-5 many more of our women would feel less forced to find that additional childcare. We’ve got to start working together women-men-government and workplaces. The fact of the matter is that I just interviewed for my second sales position in my career and he flat out asked me if I wanted to be a stay at home mom. Even though it’s illegal to discriminate against such things, I think if I had said yes and not “I’ll have to figure it out based on my situation when I get there” it would have looked very bad for me trying to be a successful sales person, now, in my twenties when I have the time to devote 12 hours of my day to work alone. It sucks that we’re still being faced with a systematic injustice, but we’ve gotta work it out like I’ve said.