I sat down to write this blog post at 10AM…last Thursday.

I was going to write about the top ten things that happen after you get engaged, but then I typed, “you realize that venues book up for Spring weddings faster than you can find venues to book for your Spring wedding, ” and panicked about booking a venue for my Spring wedding then spent the next, hhmm, it would appear five days, trying to find the perfect venue.

People warned me about wedding brain, but I ignored them. I’m a high energy multi-tasker who is surprisingly decisive when it comes to big ticket items. I’ve had a “Someday…” Pinterest board going for quite some days… There is only so much money I can spend on this blessed event, and frankly so much time I can commit to figuring out how to spend it based on everything else on my plate. I was going to be an easy-going, care-free, just get ‘er done bride.

Aanndd then I spent three and a half hours last Friday afternoon searching for free calligraphy fonts to create a custom wedding monogram using the Photoshop program I have yet to teach myself how to use. Update: still haven’t found the right font…or installed Photoshop.

I have wedding brain. I think it’s a medium case, but I don’t know what a severe case looks like. All I know is that I’m way beyond mild. Mild cases don’t make power point wedding style guides containing their vision on everything from table top decor to ceremony back drop options. So we’re clear, there were three slides on each of those categories. Because table top decor: candles obviously can’t be on the same slide as table top decor: floral. Obviously.

I want to not have wedding brain. I want to be one of those sensible people who says, “we’re going to really take our time and enjoy the whole bliss part of the engagement before we start planning,” and isn’t lying through her teeth. I said that to a few people, but then they asked me where we were thinking of having the wedding and I rattled off our top two venues, dates and decor themes. Turns out they just wanted to know if we were thinking east coast or west. Silver lining: they now have plenty of time to buy a dress that goes with creams and natural greens with accents of gold and deep yellow.

So far my wedding brain is sensible (fine, outside of the whole PowerPoint thing, but I’ll have you now I skipped adding affects to the slides). Budget reigns supreme, no decision is made without R’s consent, and I haven’t said, “well it’s my wedding, so I don’t care what you think!” once. I am also proud to report that I haven’t (fully) registered for any of those insanely overwhelming wedding websites nor have R and I figured out what we’re going to register for…entirely.

We may or may not have done our guest list on the plane ride home from our engagement weekend in New York…right after deciding where to go on our honeymoon and what appliances we need for the kitchen, but everyone does that, right?

Everyone gets so excited that they fall into full afternoon vortexes of searching for DIY guides to chalkboard menu displays. I can’t be the only person who made a grid of wedding dress shopping locations arranged for easiest subway transport around NYC (because who wants to be on the 6 train at rush hour?). Every newly engaged girl creates a Google doc where she and her fiance can keep track of songs they want the DJ to play (and fills it in two days…).

Fine. I’ve lost a fair amount of control. I’ve become that giddy bride-to-be who keeps her Pinterest page open at all times and calls her fiance six times a day with new venue ideas. 

So what! It’s my wedding, so I don’t care what you think!

I do, however, care what my employers and managers think, so please excuse me while I go pretend to work on my TV pitch while actually writing my vows.