I like to think that I’m very good at being an adult. I make my bed and with the perfect amount of accent pillows. I know just what to get everyone on my holiday gifting list. I use an under eye cream at night, take a vitamin C pill every morning, and never drink before noon on the weekdays.
And yet there are area of adult life at which I am, apparently, not so skilled. I say apparently because before getting into a relationship with a man who was born the world’s greatest dad, I didn’t know I had a problem. I just thought everyone absolutely hated going to the grocery store, freaked out most of the time they were inside and left with a dozen items they didn’t need, all for prices only an idiot would pay.
Turns out I’m really bad at the grocery store – going, being there, leaving – you name it. I’d like to blame this disability on my five years in Manhattan – a time when I had to carry any and all groceries up four flights up stairs and had a questionably functioning stove – but the truth is those old lady food carts were very in at the time, and the reason the stove didn’t work is because I kept shoes in it.
So now here I am attempting domestic bliss and healthy living with an excellent cook three blocks away from a Trader Joe’s. I know what you kindest of souls are thinking – but you still have to carry all those groceries three blocks! – but the store has its own dedicated parking garage and they validate up to two hours.
Here’s what’s weird about this situation – I love to cook and I love to eat. I find preparing meals relaxing and fun. I find eating meals delicious and delicious. So as I attempted to explore this problem I realized my g-store sitch isn’t actually about the food. And, as you know, I have no issues with shopping for other items. Give me a clothing, home decor or electronics challenge, and I’ll meet it on time and under budget, yes, even electronics!
And so I decided to take my issue to a certified expert, a person who adores the store where they sell food, attacks it like a seasoned pro and absolutely never leaves in tears (one time, and it was because I couldn’t get the recipe up on my iPhone some mean lady with a cart full of Spam was looking at me funny. Fine. She didn’t have Spam. No one in Los Angeles eats Spam).
- Me: Hey, I’m going to write about how I’m really bad at going to the grocery store.
- R: Good idea. You really are.
- Me: Thanks… So if you could theorize what deep seeded issues might be causing this problem what might you say?
- R: You don’t like having too many options or spending money.
- Me: That’s ridiculous! What is a Forever 21 store if not a plethora of options that cost about as much as a pound of meat?
- R: Fine, you don’t like having too many options or spending money on things that aren’t clothes.
- Me: …or shoes… Huh. Interesting.
- R: But tell them you’ve gotten a lot better since we’ve been together, thanks to my influence.
So there you have it, and he’s right, I have gotten a lot better, but now that I think of it, that may be because we go to a Farmer’s Market that sells food and clothing…