Good morning. As of 7:40am PST on Thursday, May 21st in the year 2015 I will no longer be doing my hair. This stands as your official notice…and my official way of Internet-shaming myself into sticking to the plan.
What do I mean I’m not doing my hair? asked all you girls with anxious, jealous glee and all you guys because you actually don’t understand.
I mean that I will not be painstakingly product-covering, blow drying, hot tool styling and delicately hairspraying my tresses every day – or even on special days when I have special meetings or dinners (Except for your wedding day, Katie. Don’t worry).
Why? asked all you girls hoping desperately for a reason you too can use, and all you guys because you’re still not sure wtf is going on here.
Because it takes an INSANE amount of time. If I’m going to do my hair as a component of my getting ready process I have to factor in at least 45 extra minutes. If not, going from sweatpants in front of my laptop to skinny jeans hopping into an Uber takes me 10 minutes. Do you know what the different between 45 and 10 minutes is? An un-DVR’d network sitcom or at least 75% of a blog post.
But why does it take that long? asked only the guys this time because you girls are already doing your own math and hating your own lives.
1. I have tricky hair – the kind that requires regular styling in order to look truly good. It used to be curly, but now it’s 1/2 straight. Bottom line you, can’t just set it and forget it.
2. Some time around ’09 every human woman started loose curling her ombre-dyed hair every single day like some army of Kate Middletons, and I followed along because it looks so damn good. Now I can’t-stop-won’t-stop but I have-to-stop-will-stop because something’s gotta give.
Well then what will you do?! (Just the girls now. If there are guys still reading this they are my husband)
I will either let it air dry in a clip then hang as it chooses or I will put it up in one of several up formats (bun, top-knot, pony tail, loose side knot pony thing).
How long will this last?
Who knows. Hopefully a few weeks/months until I get a ton of work done and have time to go galavanting around town with perfectly tousled curls.
And yes, I considered several other daily time-saving options, but watching Rehab Addict is critical to my future as a house flipper and my dog can’t pee indoors.
So – JOIN ME WORLD! Let’s take back #normalhair from all the YouTube vloggers and celebrities that destroyed it (but also thanks guys because I looked so good for awhile there – when I didn’t char off the top of my finger on my $100 curling wand)! Let’s look pretty-good-but-not-perfect! And let’s be really happy about that fact.