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10 Things I Still Don’t Know About My 32-Year-Old Body

November 24, 2015

[Featured image via Adam Christopher Design]

I am now 32 and three months old. According to recent blood work, I am in excellent health. Thanks to Class Pass, I am in the best shape of my adult life. Yesterday I gave advice to a teenager about sex and used the phrase, “your body is your temple.”

And yet here is a list of 10 Things that I have NO CLUE about regarding my own female form. Who’s with me?

10. Steam Room then Sauna or Sauna then Steam Room??

And what if there is a hot and/or cold tub involved???

9. But really how to I prevent bikini line bumps? 

Because the loofah doesn’t work, and I’m convinced that cream is giving me cancer.

Screen Shot 2015-11-23 at 4.40.24 PM

8. Once and for all: is there a test that will tell me exactly how many eggs I have left, or no?

Because I know people who says they’ve had one but they still don’t know how much longer they can wait to have kids.

7. By “light days” do they mean “most days” 

Because most days something’s going on down there…

6. What does a pre-bunion look like? 

And how exactly can it be stopped from going full bunion? Also are bunions hereditary? Asking for my entire family. Sorry Mommom.

 

 

5. So does everyone having sex on TV/in the movies just not care about their sheets? 

Because I have never once seen a character go for a tissue. Or have I been having sex wrong for the past ever?

4. Birth control + time-zone changes: let’s discuss

Does my body stay on the home zone or does it, like my sleep schedule, adjust post jet lag? Also does a three hour swing really matter? How precise do we need to be with this?

3. If you don’t feel a lump, can you still have breast cancer? 

Or no lump, no cancer? This was not covered in high school health.

Screen Shot 2015-11-23 at 4.44.58 PM

 

2. Isn’t there something about too much soy being a problem? 

And, if so does every morning in a grande latte count as too much?

1. Unless I somehow shrink to skeleton arms, the bottom skin part is always going to jiggle a little, right?

Please say yes because I literally cannot do more triceps push backs.

 

Any answer would be greatly appreciated. Any additional questions of your own would be greatly relieving.  Also, sorry I brought up light days…

 

 

 

 

4 comments

  1. laser hair removal will fix your bikini line forever and you should give it to yourself to celebrate your new book! You deserve it. AND YES… that bottom part always jiggles. But I have no idea how to test our eggs. I should probably do that soon. How do you test the old eggs?

  2. laser hair removal will fix your bikini line forever and you should give it to yourself to celebrate your new book! You deserve it. AND YES… that bottom part always jiggles. But I have no idea how to test our eggs. I should probably do that soon. How do you test the old eggs?

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