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L.A. 7 months in: I finally figured out why I hate driving so much

April 18, 2011

What does the person someone sets you up with say about you vs. them?

April 18, 2011

Apparently there are non-Jewish girls out there who are only looking to date slash marry Jewish guys?

April 18, 2011

Here’s a little Passover post.

Before delving into this topic based on things I have heard from several other people, not things I have made up in my own mind, let me make a million disclaimers.

  1. I do not necessarily believe this information to be true. The idea that there are non-Jewish girls who are only interested in dating Jewish guys is something I have heard from several people who shall remain nameless.
  2. There is no judgment or tone in my delivery of this information. It is not, “apparently there are idiot girls out there who want a dumb thing for reasons I can’t understand,” or, “can you believe this is the case?!” I am merely picking up information that I have heard and putting it down on this blog.
  3. If you asked me prior to my hearing this information if I thought there was any difference in dating men of different religions I would have said, “Not unless they’re a Johovah or a Mormon.” If you then said, “What about a Scientologist?” I would have said, “That’s not a religion. Trust me. I live in L.A. now.”

In short – kindly try to keep your panties un-bunched as I question and explore this very real topic of the modern dating world.

Now – from the top –

Apparently there are non-Jewish girls out there who are only interested in dating/marrying Jewish guys. Who are these girls and why do they feel this way?

My research confirms that these are women looking to settle down and start a stable relationship that will turn into a stable family. They come in all shapes and sizes, but what makes them similar as a set is the desire to be in a serious, committed relationship with someone they feel is husband material. I would argue that 95% of women in their mid to late 20s are in that boat, but we’ll put that aside. It is worth noting that the sample set is exclusively based on women in NY and LA.

So this portion of that set of women have evaluated the marketplace and determined that Jewish men are the men best fit to meet their desires. Why do they feel this way?

This is the part where I punt it and ask and number of questions instead of making dangerous guesses.

Is it because they think that a greater percentage of Jewish men have stable jobs? Is it because they think Jewish men are kinder to women? Or because men raised in the Jewish faith are more focused on having a family? Is it that these women want to be Jewish themselves? To convert to the faith because they think it’s a better fit for their spirituality and want to raise children in the religion? Could it be because JDate is among the most successful online dating sites and these girls figure that means Jewish men are superior quality men? Did these girls do some sort of research and find out that fewer Jewish marriages end in divorce?

And now – for all the stuff that’s really going to get me in trouble – do these girls think Jewish guys are richer? More chivalrous? Kinder? Smarter? Funnier?

I’ll stop there…

But as a Catholic girl raised by a Catholic mother and Jewish father currently dating a Jewish man I must say the topic fascinates me.

So if you or someone you know can speak to the issue please do so in comments. And if you do so in comments please remember that there are mature and sensitive ways to speak about this topic that will not end in a massive comment war 🙂

14 comments

  3. I’d love to hear the other side of this: do Jewish guys like dating schikzas (sp?)?? To be technical, arent’ you only Jewish if your mother was Jewish?? Do the Jewish guys care that their kids won’t be Jewish? Or did I just propell us way further into the relationship than necessary. V. interesting!

  4. The truth of the matter is, part of Jewish culture is to ensure your long term stability by doing well in school, pursuing defined career paths that will likely lead to success and maintaining a strong network of similarly minded people (at least this is the sense I get from the reform Jewish community in the greater NYC area). Women would like to see themselves with someone who has stability and success, so I think it makes sense to look to a cultural group that is known for these traits.

  5. Well, you know living in Los Angeles that the exact stereo-type is true. Women here want the best of all worlds, and they believe that a faith of Judiasm will suffice for that. Why? I have no idea, but I’ve learned that not all stereo-types are true. Apparently, some have not. Thanks, Madonna.
    -Ava

  6. Sometimes you just happen to fall in love, and when you happen to be an LA Catholic raised- current atheist girl in law school (in NY)… do you really have any other choice? ;-p

  7. I’m an agnostic girl who was raised Irish Catholic living in San Francisco, and I tend to find myself attracted to, dating, and being in relationships with Jewish guys. I don’t seek it out by any means, but it just kind of happens that way. I can say for me personally it’s not so much about their career path or potential for success (I make my own money!) but in my experience, Jewish men tend to appreciate complicated and independent women more than other guys I’ve dated and been attracted to. They tend to be more understanding about sexism and gender issues, and aren’t intimidated by a woman who isn’t ready to settle down and be taken care of. Lots of guys I know who were raised in christian homes tend to treat women differently; more as fragile things that need protection from the big scary world. Interestingly enough though, most of the Jewish guys I’ve known are atheist and consider themselves part of the culture/ethnic group than the religion itself. But then again I’m in SF, and we’re all just a bunch of godless heathens out here anyway :P.

    1. in israel jewish/arab guys are the worst guys ever. they dont know how to appriciate women.

  8. That actually is an interesting question…I don’t have a whole lot of Jewish friends, I was raised Catholic and dated a couple of Jewish guys years ago but they weren’t very strict about their religion. I’m open to anyone I like who is open to me. But I am curious to see if there are any girls who only like Jewish guys…maybe Charlotte from Sex and the City after she met Harry and converted and he dumped her? True it was just a tv show…but it’s the only example I can think of! 🙂

    -Lizzy

  9. I have dated some Jewish guys (I am non-denominational Christian) but honestly overall the relationships weren’t that great and I can’t figure out if it’s because they were Jewish or just because they were male. There is a guy now I like who is Jewish but I don’t think he’s fully practicing…we’ll see…

  10. My ex was a Jewish guy, non religious, but felt strongly about being Jewish. I am not. I was the committed one, he is the most unreliable person I met and the family who once loved me didn’t even care to say ‘how are you’ when he just decided to drop a serious relationship without having the decency to say why. After 5 years of living together. Most Jewish guys I know are spoiled. Charming but difficult to handle an independent and free spirited woman.

  11. I for one, am one of those crazy ladies who are really only interested in dating Jewish man. A little backround on me is that I am in high school and a year ago I realized all my past crushes were Jewish, which was very weird. Then I looked at my celeb. crushes like Robert Downey Jr., Seth Rogen, and Andy Samberg. I don’t think that is a coincidence. So I think I’m just doomed to be attracted to Jewish guys. I think it’s the kinda nerdyiness that I like, but the Jew- fro is pretty cute too.

  12. In my experience — I’m not, like, only interested in dating Jewish men, I’m sort of equal-opportunity attracted to everyone I know – Jewish guys have been more comfortable with being around intelligent women (myself and my friends). I don’t know what it is, but at least among the community of people I know, Christian and even agnostic or atheist men are more likely to be misogynistic. I don’t know if this is typical of the norm, but hey.

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