I’m back in action after two wildly successful performances of THE HOOK-UP CONVERSATIONS: L.A. edition and one wildly consuming 24-hour stomach bug, which by some grace of god came one day after the shows.

Today’s topic is inspired by a monologue that was performed in both the NY and LA versions of the HUC’s by my good friend Chris Jacobs. It’s a comedic piece about a very sincere guy who makes a very unpopular move, and it’s based on a very true story that happened to one of my college roommates.

I never know quite how the audience is going to receive the various pieces that make up the show. Some of them are about pathetic characters meant to make you go, “shit, is that me?” others are about heroes that we’ve all aspired to be, and a few are just totally ridiculous characters I made up in the shower one morning. In general the reactions fit my assumptions. People laugh when they should laugh and look shocked when that’s the case.

But with Chris’ monologue there has been a moment every single time it’s performed that a section of the audience gets audibly upset at a time when I thought they’d laugh the whole thing off.

Let me lay out the detail of the monologue, because I suspect that as I do you’ll have no trouble figuring out which section of the audience reacts, and how.

Chris’ piece is about a guy named Jake. The monologue is delivered as if Jake is re-telling the story of what happened to a buddy. Here is Jake’s story:

• Jake is at a bar waiting for his friend Boone (whatever, I loved him in LOST) when he exchanges a flirtatious glance with a girl across the bar. Jake has a sense there’s something between them.
• The girl comes over to Jake and starts talking to him. They immediately click.
• Jake admits at this point (to his buddy, not to the girl) that he’s not wildly attracted to the girl but enjoys her personality and is attracted to her looks enough to keep the conversation going.
• Once Boone arrives Jake and girl are in full swing – drinking, chatting, enjoying each others company. Boone encourages the girl to stick around. Light hand touches and more advanced flirtations ensues between Jake and girl.
• Fast-forward and hour: Jake is wasted, girl is wasted, Boone is no where to be found.
• Girl propositions Jake saying, “do you want to come back to my place.”
• Jake admits (to buddy, again) that he does want to go home with her, of course, but is afraid this could turn into a stage-5 situation – a road his been down before.
• Jake tells girl that yes, he’d like to go home with her, but just so that she knows, this isn’t going to go anywhere. In other words – yes, we can hook-up but so you know I’m not interested in a relationships.
• Girl punches Jake in the mouth, says, “thanks for waiting ’til 3am to be a douche,” and walks out the front door.
• Jake is flabbergasted. She approached him! (he explains to his buddy) She didn’t ask if he wanted to grab dinner! Or see a movie! She didn’t even ask if he was single! She asked him back to her place! And then when he’s honest about the fact that he’s not interested in anything beyond that one night, she freaks out! I mean, who’s the crazy one in this situation?? Jake asks.

At this point I’m sure you can figure out at which point in Jake’s story a portion of the audience gasps audibly and follows that up with an angry, “oooohhh.”

My question is – why?

Why does the female audience get so pissed at the fictional Jake when he gets to the punchline of his story? Are they mad because he stayed and talked to a girl he had no intention of dating? Are they offended that he thought she wanted something more than just a one-night stand? Are they audibly rolling their eyes at the bravado of a guy who assumes he has a clinger on his hands?

If I had written the girl’s version of this monologue, how would it have gone?

The truth is, I’m not sure. I assume she’d say something about him leading her on for the entire night and then rudely killing the moment before it began. She’d probably mention how garish it was for him to assume she wanted a relationship after they’d only just met. She might even say that’s no way to treat a lady.

But would she be right? Or was he?

In the “based-on a true story” story some drunk college freshman dude told one of my drunk college freshman roommates that it, “wasn’t going to go anywhere,” right before he made out with her on the dance floor of the biggest party apartment off campus. There was no proposition or lead up, and my roommate still hasn’t stopped laughing about the ordeal.

The the women in the audience of the HUC’s – East and West coast edition – are not laughing when they react to Chris’ performance.

I’m not saying they’re right or wrong. I’m just wondering what they’re thinking slash feeling, and why?