Around the fourth or fifth week after you move to Los Angeles people stop asking how you’re adjusting to the move, if you’re going crazy with all the traffic, or what you think of the weather and switch – in unison – to a very specific question:
I have yet to find a proper earring tree or wash a load of darks (listen, I have a lot of black underwear), and I’m being asked to evaluate whether or not the most significant decision of my life was a good one? I’m still trying to decide if being a Communications major was the right move, and I’m five years out! (I’m leaning towards no.)
They ask it like there’s a chance I’ll say no. No, I think this was a huge mistake. No, I can tell I’m not going to like anything about this place. No, I’m not making the kind of progress I projected for week four; I’m fairly sure I’ll fail.
There are only certain circumstances in life that you can get away with the “so” trail off.
- Someone: You’re pregnant! Congratulations!
- You: Well, we’re not married so…
- Someone: I hear you’re looking for a new job?
- You: Well, I got fired from the other one, so…
- Someone: So things never worked out between you and _________ huh?
- You: Well, he’s gay now, so…
The truth, of course, is that I’ve been asking myself that same question since week two (only b/c week one was spent asking myself when the #$!& my shit was going to arrive from New York).
I am a keeper of scores, a critical assesser of situations, a compulsive writer of pro/con lists. It took me two years, three months and seven twists of fate to convince me to move to L.A. in the first place. Of course I’m engaged in a daily mind battle over whether or not I’m glad I did, and of course I have an answer that doesn’t require a trail off.
But to understand why I can know that moving to L.A. was the right decision after just five weeks, you have to know why I thought I should move in the first-place.
See, despite being so painfully bad with numbers to allow this line:
- Peter: I’m thinking of going to Fred Segal later. It’s their 2/3rd’s off sale!
- Me: WOW – 75%!?!?!
I believe that life is a numbers game driven by luck. A numbers game in that finding and achieving what you want is about putting yourself in a place where there’s the greatest chance for that to happen. And luck in that opportunity-meets-preparedness sense.
I want very much for the epicenter of the entertainment industry to be in New York. I want agencies and production companies to have as much presence there as they do in L.A. I want every single show that films on the East coast to be written out of the East coast.
Unfortunately that’s not the case.
I had been told time and time again that the greatest opportunity for people pursuing what I’m pursuing is here in L.A., and I’ve had enough of my own experiences prove that true. I believed I would come here and start to meet people who want to help me advance my career, and I have. I believed I would have a better opportunity to learn the in’s and out’s of the industry, and I do. I believed I’d be motivated by the energy of creative development in this town, and I am.
Here there are the greatest number of opportunities for me to bring everything I’ve prepared, but that’s not why I’m so sure that I’m glad I moved to L.A.
I’m glad I moved because now I know that I can. Transition out of one career and attempt to enter the next. Say goodbye-for-awhile to family and friends. Organize my life into must-keep and can-live-without. Move myself, by myself, into a new home in a new state on a new coast. And – most importantly – negotiate a lease on a car.
I am glad I did those things because now I’ve done those things, and dramatic as it may seem, I feel forever changed having gone through this process. My strength and will and ability to build Ikea furniture has been tested and, at five weeks in, I’m proud to say I’ve passed (despite one brief meltdown over a faulty shoe rack, which is annoyingly poetic).
So yes, I’m glad I moved to L.A. Very, very glad. It was the right decision for a number of reasons, but practical and emotional.
And those are all outside of the unexpected eighth twist of fate, but we’ll talk about him some other time…
11 comments
Comments are closed.
Amen. I’m definitely a stronger person for making the move. And think to think I wouldn’t have met all these interesting and amazing people is enough to make me glad I came out here. Hope all is well. Cheers.
I think you put any big decision/change of someone in their twenties into perspective. We do it so we know we can. We’re (in most cases) an adaptable, driven and adventurous generation. When our parents were our age they were already married with a kid or still in their hometown. We take leaps, perhaps on blind faith and ambition, but we’re better because of it.
Good for you! Different is always good. Except when it’s bad, so…
I’m moving from the east coast to LA in t-minus 9 weeks, and your new found LA advice and lingo has been helpful and comforting to read! I’m also moving for the biz, (and the flip flop wearing), been in a biz for awhile, but not on the LA level, so attempting the jump before my 20’s fly me by. (And that is if they don’t throw me out once I get there…I’m 5’10” and as pale as a paper plate, so standing out is an understatement. Someone once mistook me for a mannequin…no joke.) Anywho, I just discovered your blog and love it. I look forward to reading more LA posts 😉
Yay! As I read the end of that post I found myself nodding my head as I agreed with everything you said. For all those who think East Coasters move out to SoCal for the weather or to simply get an “in” with the entertainment industry, please understand that it’s way beyond that… it’s more of a right of passage. Knowing you can do something major and come out smiling on the other end! 🙂
See you in a few days!
Yay! As I read the end of that post I found myself nodding my head as I agreed with everything you said. For all those who think East Coasters move out to SoCal for the weather or to simply get an “in” with the entertainment industry, please understand that it’s way beyond that… it’s more of a right of passage. Knowing you can do something major and come out smiling on the other end! 🙂
See you in a few days!
Oh how I feel your pain…
I think it’s good for someone to move, you grow as a person in a good way. It took me a year to realize I made the right move. I left my family and friends and packed up my bags in Oklahoma and moved to Florida. I’ve been here 6 years and so glad I did it 🙂 Enjoy LA!
I think it’s good for someone to move, you grow as a person in a good way. It took me a year to realize I made the right move. I left my family and friends and packed up my bags in Oklahoma and moved to Florida. I’ve been here 6 years and so glad I did it 🙂 Enjoy LA!
Being prepared for an opportunity is the key to following your life’s path. I recently got a new job because of that combination of states. It’s a wonderful place to be.
And you are right, the physical move is a growth experience on its own. This is why its important to go through college no matter what you study… you grow.
Looooove this entry. Such a great analysis of the situation.
One of the most amazing things about our generation (thanks to the internet, cell phones, etc) is that so many people expect INSTANT information. I am sure that they cannot fathom that you just don’t already “know.” I truly believe that you need to give yourself 12 month- the first 3 kind of suck, the second 3 REALLY suck, the next 3 START to get better, and before you even hit that 1 year anniversary- you have settled in!
Hang in there!