A CHANGE of dating tactic YOU CAN BELIEVE IN
Finding an eligible man in this mad-cap modern world is no easy task — it takes focus, determination and savvy, plus of course, a strong sense of exactly what one wants in a partner.

I want someone like Barack and/or Michelle Obama.

Someone calm, cool, and collected. Someone poised, yet perma-casual. Someone with strong family values and the ability to grow an impressive vegetable garden. Someone who looks great in J. Crew. Someone presidential, if you will.

As such it seems only logical to target my search to a relative of The First Family. One possessing of their genes – no matter how few – surely stands to be superior in all human aspects.

Say YES, WE CAN help

I’m reaching out to you because of your (please circle all that apply):

connections to the president / experience in ancestry research /
current or former residence in Hawaii, Chicago, or Kenya / general smarts

Do you or does someone you know have the president’s ear? Can you think of a way to make my mission more public? Are you personally aware of a 26-year-old male third cousin living on the east coast?

Please consider whether you have any leads based on the above suggestions, and please feel free to pass this document along to anyone you think might be helpful. Included below is my dating resume – a brief summary of why I will make an excellent addition to the Obama family tree.

Many thanks in advance for your help toward this most American of causes. For why – in addition to nationalized health care, ending the war in Iraq, and a sustainable energy program – should not love, the true foundation upon which this nation was built, be a priority of its current administration.

God Bless America!

Jessie Rosen