Like I mentioned I’ve been assigned on article on the motivations behind people who gave up on hooking up.

• In the last year, I’ve been slowly weaning myself off a 8-year long distance relationship and looking for my next pray. I decided that if I meet someone that I want to have the chance at a serious relationship with, I will not hook up** with them for the first 4 dates. (**I define hooking up as beyond kissing. Usually some nudity, and general “handsy-ness”). This has worked to my advantage because I usually realize by date #4 that I am done, and I can walk away without being ashamed that I slept with a guy who disgusts me.

• In general, I think that playing hard to get (making out or sex definition of hooking up) makes the guy realize you respect yourself and want him to respect you — in a way, he’s “earning” the right to get physical with you. When I say playing hard to get, I don’t mean being a Nazi about it or using it as a tool but just taking it a little slower. My guy friends have also told me that they are more likely to try to sleep with a girl they are not interested in right away but if they really like her they don’t want to rush things (of course, they do still want to have sex with her in the end, but just not on the first meet up) — obviously this varies from guy to guy. Either way, I think waiting a little bit helps weed out the sleazy guys… if they still want to be with you even though you didn’t hook up with them, then it probably means they are interested in you, not just sleeping with you — or at least willing to put in more effort to get there.

• I was usually okay with [the hook up] in the moment, but then afterwards not so much. Being more of a traditionalist when it comes to relationships I knew that what I was doing wasn’t going to get me what I ultimately wanted, but in the moment wasn’t exactly thinking with my brain. Afterwards, I’d feel kind of blah about it, because it didn’t mean anything — sort of like, if I hook up with whomever, and not someone I’m interested in dating, then how is the physical stuff with an actual prospect any more special (aside from the whole “feelings” thing)

• Basically, my feeling is that I am protective of my sexual health and I don’t like feeling like I’m expected to blow a dude before I’ve decided that I like him. Strangers freak me out. I may be more uptight than most people, but I enjoy “hooking up” a lot more when it’s someone I actually care about. Even when I’ve really wanted someone in the (usually drunken) moment, once I get there, I start to think about stranger danger.

• to be honest. i am tired of feeling as if i am good enough to hook up with one or two times. maybe three? and then that’s it. in retrospect. the good enough club. just isn’t good enough for me

• The other reason i’m proud of not hooking up so easily is because when i finally do meet the woman i’ll spend the rest of my life with, i don’t want her to have to think about me with a dozen other women. i don’t want to think of her with a dozen other guys, so you could say it falls into to the “do unto others as you would have done unto you” category. although there really isn’t anything religious about my decision on this. i think it has more to do with basic respect than anything.  i’ve heard from many friends – including your own research on the topic – women are more interested in a guy that can control his hormones than someone who is hooking up every weekend. how interested would you be in a guy that you know hooks up every time he walks into the bar? how would that make you feel the day after you hooked up with him?