Required? dead? annoying?…apparently the answer is “confusing.”

I thought yesterday’s post would insight online gender riot ala the infamous Mr. Anonymous #2 match of early 2009. Instead I just got a lot of gchats that read, “well what the hell am I supposed to do then?”

Apparently part of the issue may actually be that we don’t know what chivalry looks like in World 2.0. Here’s my list — collected with help. Much of it is gender neutral…

Chivalry — today — is:

(As it applies to the date)

• Picking someone up on a first date, even if you live in a city
• …and bringing flowers
• Surprising them by having picked out a place that has something, anything to do with something you know they like, think they like, want them to like, etc. (“so I remembered that you went to school in New Orleans and there’s this great place I’ve been that has the best gumbo I’ve ever had)
• Walking (or cabbing) them home
• CALLING the next day — fine — within the next 3 days — to say you had a great time
• Spending 80% of the time asking about them and 20% of the time talking about yourself

(As it applies to everything else within the courting phase)

• Sending links to articles that have something to do with what they do/like/want to do/should like
• Buying them something — anything — I mean gum if that’s all you can think of — that they like and surprising them with it when you see them
• Sending flowers to their office for no reason
• Saying “let’s grab a drink and do something” then arriving with two pre-bought movie tickets to the movie they mentioned they want to see
• Showing up at their apartment when you know they’ll be home with flowers/ice cream/some other small food item for no reason
• Ordering something they mentioned they want online and just sending it to their office/apartment
• Telling on of their best friends how much you like them because you know it will get back to them
• CALLING at the end of the day just to see how their day was
• This line: “So I was ___________ and I thought of you because ________” — repeatedly

If there’s one thing all these “moves” have in common it’s that yes, they’re risky. You’re putting yourself out there — taking some major steps — going out on a whim limb. You are risking looking and feeling like a romantic fool.
The way I see it it’s that’s not nearly as big a risk as taking no risk at all. Someone else with bigger balls (slash booby) than you might be reading this post, taking notes, and prepping to someday swoop in with the right moves to seal what should have been your deal.