Today is my last day at my current job.

To be vague but contractually appropriate – I am moving from a film-oriented operation to a media-oriented operation. While those two things sound similar and are just 30 blocks apart, there will be a world of difference.

Some people (namely my Mom) have had a lot of questions (which is an understatement) about how I could leave my current place (a fairly famous place) for the new (less obviously glamour) opportunity. I’ve explained it in the following way.

Working at my current job is a lot like (what I imagine) dating a very, very hot man (to be like). With him on my arm I can get in anywhere, talk to anyone, look great in any picture. He is at once VIP access, street cred, and a massive personal resume-builder. She’s with him? Wow, she must be legit – the world says when they find out we’re together.

Sometimes he is as great as he looks – fun, dynamic, spontaneous, well-dressed. Sometimes though – he treats me like shit.

Maybe because he doesn’t know how to be a good boyfriend? Maybe because he’s too caught up in himself? Or maybe (probably) because he knows he can get away with it; he’s hot enough to get any girl.

Regardless, it affects his behavior. And his behavior in turn affects my life. And right now, I’m trying to make my life as un-negatively affected as possible. Positive effects are the goal — positive effects involving stability, progress, and dental insurance.

My new job is slightly less hot, or as Abby would say, “he looks like a husband.” We probably won’t go to as many IT parties or rub elbows with bold-faced names. When people see us together they’ll probably say , “he seems really nice” or not say anything at all. But according to people who’ve been with this guy before – he knows how to treat a lady. Right now, that’s what I’m after.

Of course I wouldn’t have known to look for someone like my new guy without experiencing the old one, and I wouldn’t trade my former jet-setting life for a healthy 401K (I was once two feet from Madonna!!), but you cannot – as often warned – have it all. Right now I’m going for stability over stilettos.

And there you have it. I think this metaphor best describes both the differences in my former job versus my new while also hinting at my reasons for moving on all in within the shell of a relationship-themed metaphor.

My Mom: “So are you saying this means the guys at your new job are going to be less good-looking”

Wish me luck…with her.