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Oh he’s that into you, he just has no game

October 8, 2008

Would you like to ford the river?

October 8, 2008

You can do it. We can help.

October 8, 2008


Still working on cracking the guys and game situation.

But in the meantime – it’s become clear through response to this topic and my 20 years of dealing with boys (I didn’t start dating until kindergarten) that the root of all male/female issues is fear of rejection. Forget every other excuse; the simple fact is – if we knew the answer was yes, we would ask the question.

So rather than pick apart how and why we are afraid – let’s just end it. We should, at this point, be able to create simple solutions to communicate our feelings for each other. We have DVR.

Two suggestions to start:


Citizen Yenta

If you think someone you know likes someone else you know, ask them. If their response seems like a lie, say, “Really? Because when you do this, that, and all those other things, it really seems like you like ____. Would you like to reconsider your answer?” If they still say no say, “Okay, well then stop doing all those things because it appears to the entire sane world that you have a thing for _____”.

If they say yes, tell ______. You may, depending on the scenario, want to warn the person that you’re going to tell, but I don’t recommend it.

Yes, this can be construed as “betraying trust” or “going behind someone’s back” but what would you rather have? — ultimate trust in your friends or a really amazing boyfriend? Right. Me too.

A Cinderella Clause


We instate an official, universal time-limit on making a move. My suggestion is four months, but this remains open to negotiation. It works as follows. 
You meet someone you like. From that date forward it is understood by both parties that you have four months to close the deal. Within those four months you can play whatever games you think work, but at the four month mark, time’s up. Who’s responsible for asking? Doesn’t matter – the four months apply to each party.   But at time’s up each person is technically dead to the other (in the dating sense).

Time limits are often work wonders in things like withdrawal from war and punishing children. And since dating is a lot like war between children, this seems like a smart tactic – and strategy.

If you need more time (wuss) or decide six months later that was the one that got away (aww), fine. But just know that the other person has moved on making your job way harder. In this scenario I recommend making it painfully obvious to a mutual friend who reads this blog that you like the person.

2 comments

  2. JEssie, I agree! This is why playing hard-to-get frequently fails. Seriously people, stop playing games and get real.

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