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Extra: Max’s Movie Script

August 6, 2008

What’s your scary age?

August 6, 2008

What You’ve Got To Lose

August 6, 2008

Yesterday one of my very best friends asked me for some of my very best advice. It was on the subject of a boy (shocker) who’d made vague contact (un-­heard of) that could be reacted to in a number of ways (over a number of mediums) depending on how his move was to be interpreted (I only thought there was one way to read it, but she seemed to think there were 8-10).

I listened and read the correspondences and ran through various what-if scenarios with her. It was a somewhat tricky situation involving a good deal of background and even more future unknowns. After 62 lines of gchat and two second opinions, I said what I tend to say when I think going for it is the best option and/or don’t know what else to say, “I mean, honestly, what have you got to lose?”

It, like “what do you want from me?” and “um, are you serious with that?” is meant to be a rhetorical question. But the truth is there are legitimate responses. You always do have something to lose.

Thus a new series (if I write more than one):

What You Have to Lose
Honest loss-assessment based on real-life scenarios

Scenario 1: Guy from your high school that you were never really friends with randomly gets you on The Book. You, feeling bold, accept friendship then send him a message (Dude! It’s been ages! How’ve you been?). He responds with a life update and his number (Listen, if you’re ever back home, give me a call). You respond with your life update and accept his offer (Sounds great – will let you know if I’m ever back home). Three days later you realize you will be back home in one week. Do you call/message for that catch up or let it go considering the potential for awkwardness?

I said, “Go – why not? What do you have to lose??” Well, here’s

What You Have to Lose:

“Credibility” in the eyes of other “friends” from High School

When the mean girls find out you arranged a drink with John Tucker a gossip train will form the likes of when Easy Suzy was late to school because she had to pick up Plan B. And influx of Facebook messages and random texts will follow (um, u and J Tuck? Whaaa?). People will tell people who will tell other people. They’ll say things like, “can you believe she like re-made friends with him and then they went out? Um…can you say raaando?” Two things: you can but you choose not to. And credibility or really anything else in their eyes is not of your concern. You have an appointment for alcohol with a potential for dating that gave you its number. Point, set, match.

Time

Undeniable, but are you really losing in the end if what you gain is delicious drinks, good conversation, and progress toward a hook-up/husband? Yes time is money but successful dates are confidence, which is power, which is strength to ask for raises, which is money. Like you had anything else to do “back home” at 9pm…

Pride

This is if you make the move and he says no. It could happen and that would be embarrassing because it’s never fun to be rejected. But let’s recap the facts. He said, “we should catch up when you are next home. Here is my number.” If what he really meant was we should not ever catch up so please don’t use this number I’m providing, ever, well then that’s fucked up. The blow off would have read, “Life’s good – hope New York is treating you well – Later!” So we’re left with one of two options. He actually wants to get a drink or he’s schizophrenic. If he’s schizophrenic then you don’t want him anyway. Pride restored.

Money + Potential
If you go and split the bill. Sadly this is two-fold. He makes the “so how do you want to split this?” move and there goes your 20 bucks and maybe husband. I have long held that if he pays in this vague what-is-this scenario he’s either interested, or just a really nice guy. Both are good, one is better – figuring which it is a whole other conversation. If he doesn’t than he’s either not interested, doesn’t know how to show he’s interested (in which case you’re not interested), or is not a good guy. NG. So yes, you lose money and a husband but an emotionally draining situation can be very costly and time consuming which, as previously established, is money.
This concludes today’s cost/benefit analysis.

2 comments

  1. Is it really that complicated? Do other people’s opinions matter more to you than your own? If you like the person, catch up, if you don’t then don’t.

  2. like a man should have to pay for your meal, what did feminism ever accomplish? way to “perpetuate gender stereotypes”.

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