Yesterday one of my very best friends asked me for some of my very best advice. It was on the subject of a boy (shocker) who’d made vague contact (un-heard of) that could be reacted to in a number of ways (over a number of mediums) depending on how his move was to be interpreted (I only thought there was one way to read it, but she seemed to think there were 8-10).
I listened and read the correspondences and ran through various what-if scenarios with her. It was a somewhat tricky situation involving a good deal of background and even more future unknowns. After 62 lines of gchat and two second opinions, I said what I tend to say when I think going for it is the best option and/or don’t know what else to say, “I mean, honestly, what have you got to lose?”
It, like “what do you want from me?” and “um, are you serious with that?” is meant to be a rhetorical question. But the truth is there are legitimate responses. You always do have something to lose.
Thus a new series (if I write more than one):
Honest loss-assessment based on real-life scenarios
I said, “Go – why not? What do you have to lose??” Well, here’s
When the mean girls find out you arranged a drink with John Tucker a gossip train will form the likes of when Easy Suzy was late to school because she had to pick up Plan B. And influx of Facebook messages and random texts will follow (um, u and J Tuck? Whaaa?). People will tell people who will tell other people. They’ll say things like, “can you believe she like re-made friends with him and then they went out? Um…can you say raaando?” Two things: you can but you choose not to. And credibility or really anything else in their eyes is not of your concern. You have an appointment for alcohol with a potential for dating that gave you its number. Point, set, match.
Undeniable, but are you really losing in the end if what you gain is delicious drinks, good conversation, and progress toward a hook-up/husband? Yes time is money but successful dates are confidence, which is power, which is strength to ask for raises, which is money. Like you had anything else to do “back home” at 9pm…
This is if you make the move and he says no. It could happen and that would be embarrassing because it’s never fun to be rejected. But let’s recap the facts. He said, “we should catch up when you are next home. Here is my number.” If what he really meant was we should not ever catch up so please don’t use this number I’m providing, ever, well then that’s fucked up. The blow off would have read, “Life’s good – hope New York is treating you well – Later!” So we’re left with one of two options. He actually wants to get a drink or he’s schizophrenic. If he’s schizophrenic then you don’t want him anyway. Pride restored.
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Is it really that complicated? Do other people’s opinions matter more to you than your own? If you like the person, catch up, if you don’t then don’t.
like a man should have to pay for your meal, what did feminism ever accomplish? way to “perpetuate gender stereotypes”.