“I wish life were like a red cup, green cup party,” my good friend said. We were an hour or so into a two hour coffee prompted by a particularly crazy weekend – so crazy it ended up three days long for one of us….
It was one of those coffees where you lecture each other and realize you’re actually lecturing yourself then give advice you’ve never actually taken while saying things like, “Why did no one prepare us for this?” The red cup, green cup comment was prompted by our bi-weekly whining about why people can’t just be straight-forward. In hindsight, it really was a genius theme party (second, of course, to Champagne and Shackles). Red cup if you’re dating someone, prude, or have a lot of self-respect. Green cup if you’re available, deal well with regret, or black out easily. No questions, no confusions, no mind games – just stop, go, and drink.
Truth is we’re still playing it most Friday and Saturday (and Sunday, apparently) nights – just with a distinct handicap. Sexy eyes and rounds of shots are not color-coded. Nor are sass and quick grinds on the dance floor. Those moves, no matter how seemingly see-through, are only ever grey.
I’d like to make a push for a post-grad Red Cup, Green Cup game involving bullet pointed, relationship personality details. Maybe taped to glasses or beer bottles? Or worn name-tage style right on your shirt?
- Just ended a 2-year relationship
- Only looking for sex
- Prefer blondes
- Am obsessed with my career
- Am actually looking for a boyfriend
- Don’t be confused by my sarcasm – it’s how I flirt
- Probably not going to sleep with you tonight. No, definitely.
Imagine how liberating. Plus there’s the added benefit of easy networking. “Oh ‘Prefer shy girls, intimidated by clingy, don’t technically have a bedroom door?’ You’ve got to meet my friend, ‘Friendly though quiet, fiercely independent, just moved to a nice-sized studio.’ You guys would really hit it off.”
Of course, that’s to say we can all reduce our mating identity and desires to 3-5 bullet points. Which would require us make some decision about who we are and what we want…and then admit them – at least from one night to the next. Too tough. We’ve only been adults for 2.5 years.
Plus, if we could decide, and then be clear about that decision, and then take some risks to go out and get it – what the fuck would we talk about for two hours over coffee?