A recurring series (maybe).
It has long been my assumption that guys like girls who like sports…within reason. It’s a tentative relationship – territorial even – between guys, girls, and sports. A lot like that between guys, girls, and fashion. Fashion is ours. Sports is yours. I know that’s sexist, not 100% true, and makes me sound like such a girl. But sexism is rooted in fact, it’s 80% true, and I am a girl.

Here’s what I’ve deduced:

Guys on Girls:
She should like them enough to understand the importance of him watching them, but not so much that she plays in his fantasy league. She should know them well enough to not say embarrassing things like, “Which tight back just scored that goal?” but not so well that she insults his own knowledge: “You’re calling that off sides? Get some fucking glasses!” She should have her teams and support them loyally, but not to the point of face-painting, hair-coloring, or car-decaling. I gather it’s fine, maybe even endearing, if she starts supporting his team, for lack of her own. But if shit like “Our Patriots” or “We’re doing sooo great!” starts to creep in she’s done. Same for the asking of sports questions. Properly timed (not at fourth and goal), well-informed questions (not, “why do they run into the big group of guys like that? If I were playing I’d just run around those guys.” Ever.) that show interest without showing off (to provide an example I would have to show off). But most importantly, if she doesn’t know or like sports at all she should pretend either very very well or not at all.

Guys on Guys:
From what I gather: if you like them, want to talk about them, enjoy video games about them, and can participate in them with normal enough tendencies – you’re in. If you don’t – you’re still in, just not when the game is on. If your girl doesn’t and won’t let you – you’re out.

Girls on Girls:
More involved — shocker. Girls hate girls who show off in front of guys – especially when it comes to sports. Ask any girl you know. We’re also somewhat jealous of girls who actually do love and know sports and can keep up with the boys. This relates back to point one: guys like girls who like sports. Girls also know when other girls are pretending to love and know sports. That’s because we’ve done it and know exactly what it looks like. There are far more details on this issue – as there are with all girl on girl on issues – but this is fine for now.

Girls on Guys:
We like that you like sports. We like that you get all into it with your guy group and have email chains about rules and predications and players. We’re not crazy about the whole Madden thing or the Fantasy League thing or the all day Sunday thing, but that’s mostly because it excludes us and we don’t understand it. We like to watch sports with you because A. we like to do everything with you and B. we like sports too…but mostly A. Many of us do known and like and care about sports, but 9 times out of 10 we’ll go watch the game at a bar b/c you’ll be there.

There’s more to it, but those are the basics. I’ll be conducting more research on Sunday as I root on my adopted team in a bar where I suspect there will be boys who I can ask appropriate questions to enhance my already extensive knowledge of football — because I really do like it.