This is what we do. Evaluate a scenario, assign a decision slash assumption, and then use that as set precedent for all future occurrences of that same nature – like lawyers.

Katie had texted guy at, say 7pm on a Thursday something to the effect of, “hey, what’s up, blah blah.” He had responded via Facebook at, say 9am the next morning, “hey, got your text, blah blah.”

For a second I thought somehow the God of The Book had rigged it so text messages were now routed through to FB inboxes. Not the case but I have since patented that idea by writing it down and mailing it to myself. Suckaas!!

What actually happened is that guy opted to access the Internet, sign into Facebook and type out a message versus texting back or, dare I suggest it, calling. Maybe he was on The Book, remembered the previous night’s text, and thought – oh, right, I’ll just respond now. Maybe the numbers and letters are rubbed off on his phone from excessive texting and now he can’t text but forgets how to call. Whatever.

Our mutual reaction was – now that we’re old enough to rent cars could we please stop communicating exclusively via Facebook?

Seems like a reasonable enough request – especially since this has been a consistent issue with this person. And even if it isn’t (fine, there is no real difference between the Facebook inbox, email inbox, and text message inbox), it’s our request and one that, once 3-5 dates in with someone, feels legit – part of that category of things you can politely ask for now that you’re no strangers and have kissed. It would go something like, “Hey I’m not big on the FB message. I don’t get to check it enough at work. Could we stick to phone? I can check my cell at work.”

Yes I know that sounds dumb but I’m not the one who responded to a text with a Facebook message.

Ultimately, not the point or the crux of Katie’s and my conversation. What we were most curious about was whether or not you could say that and if so, whether you should.

I’m of the camp that if it’s bothering you and it’s that simple a thing, say something. Best case: he says yeah, sure. Worst case: he adamantly refuses in which case you jump ship because he’s a freak. Win-win, but that’s the could.

The should is more complicated because it’s a piece of that place we all go to on issues like this: If he thinks it’s this is an appropriate way to communicate then he’s probably not right for me. I’m in the market for someone who just knows what’s correct.

Right. You do that. We all do. And while it would be nice for the people we’re interested in to have the same opinions and styles on everything that matters most to us – that’s not happening ever.

I recommend making a mental list. Column one: things one should innately know. Column two: things one could learn/I could help them understand are important to me.