I was at a Yankee game a few months back when someone asked what defines a slut.

For the record, I was trying very hard to focus on the game. I was even wearing a baseball cap and sitting with my feet up drinking a beer as I understand this is how people properly attend baseball.

Still – girl talk found me. This blog will be my downfall.

I’ve never been asked to define the term “slut” or heard a group of people (all girls, in this case) argue it out. But stadium Socrates was intent on getting down to the nitty gritty.

• “Someone who sleeps around a lot?” I said.
• “But how much? And with who?”
• “Hm, good point,” I said, “I think with multiple people, really often, and without really caring about it.”
• “But what if the person just really likes sex and how now personal attachment and is clear with each partner that they’re not in a relationship?”
• “Right. Okay, “I said, “I give up.”

We’ve established an accepted casual-sex culture, but still throw around the world slut or say “sheeeee’s a ‘HOooo” whenever we think it applies.

But if you really break it down, what is a slut?

The game was getting boring slash I don’t understand baseball, so I gave it some critical thought and bberry research.

Wikipedia: Slut (n.) or slattern is a pejorative term for a person who is deemed sexually promiscuous that first appeared in Middle English in 1402 as slutte with the meaning “a dirty, untidy, or slovenly woman.” The modern sense of “a sexually promiscuous woman” dates to at least 1450.

Right. So then best to define promiscuous and figure we use slut because it’s shorter and sounds meaner.

From Oxford: promiscuous (adj.) characterized by or involving indiscriminate mingling or association, esp. having sexual relations with a number of partners on a casual basis.

Same questions: how many partners? How casual a basis? Is “mingling” what we’re calling it these days? But there’s a word in there that hones on in what, to me, is the difference between sexually liberal and slutty: indiscriminate.

Mmm. So then, indiscriminate (adj.): lacking in care, judgment, selectivity, etc. Synonyms: haphazard, random, arbitrary.
It suggests a complete lack of care or thought is involved. You’re not applying real feeling or even sound decision to the sexual acts or relations. You’re just doing it for whatever instant need or desire pops up: to make someone jealous, to not feel lonely the next morning, to prove you can, or just to get off. The other person is barely involved.

Not by any means a closed case, but at least a little more clarity around the slur.

So next time someone mentions that ________ hooked up with ________ again, think twice before crying “slut”. Consider first whether she was selective in this move. Note whether she applied care and thought. Ask, was she simply expressing her feminist self or did she do it to prove she could?

Chances are this one act doesn’t make ________ a slut. It probably just makes her stupid.