Other Jesse Rosen sent me a text on Monday afternoon:
- OJR: Time to write a 20 about couples on their black berries at the same time. Gross.
Translation: You should write a 20-Nothings blog post about couples who play with their blackberries in tandem while on a date.
Explanation: There is a guy out there with my same name. We went to middle and high school together, so it isn’t quite as random, but it still really is. Following about eight years of not seeing each other or knowing where the other had gone, we re-met at a bar neither of us was supposed to be at on Superbowl Sunday in Manhattan. There was a “hhmm, should we?…” for a little bit but then both realized it was too weird to pursue anything with someone who has your exact same name. Last week in L.A. I was sitting at a cafe when he randomly walked by. We figure this will continue to happen throughout our bizarrely interconnected life of Jessie Rosen-dom (ship? idk..). We intend to write a screenplay about it, which studio execs will obviously buy because when do you ever see a screenplay written by a male and female Jessie Rosen about being a male and female Jessie Rosen who both work in entertainment? Precisely.
From there the following exchange ensued:
- RJR (that’s me, real Jessie Rosen): Gross, but right up my 20-nothing topic alley
- OJR: Sittin at Urth watching this. It’s a plague. They have nothing to talk about?!
- RJR: They don’t have to have anything to talk about. That’s the plague.
Plague is probably the wrong word. It’s more like a modern state of being – an epidemic I guess. It is not weird for two people to be on their blackberries texting, searching, checking emails, checking sports scores while in each other’s presence – even two people who are in those early stages of getting to know each other where you’re on your absolute best behavior. I’ve done it without thinking because it’s so far over that boundary of what used to be considered rude that I don’t even think about it.
When ORJ sent that text I didn’t think, how rude and strange that people would sit in silence together while they communicate with other people via phone! Instead I thought, how strange would it be to sit down with someone and say, “let’s both turn our blackberries off so we can spend completely and totally uninterrupted time together.”
Imagine. Imagine if you were dating someone for, I don’t know, 2-3 weeks, and upon sitting down at dinner he said something like that. It would be so weird and unexpected and kind of unnecessary. But, it would be romantic.
And then I thought, wow, modern romance is silencing your cell phone. Where’s an easy button when you need one…
We have regressed to the point where romance is as simple as turning the outside world off for a bit to show someone how serious you are about paying attention. Sad, yes, but also really convenient.
Gone are the days of having to lasso the moon to get some girl’s attention. You could, say, call her on the phone at the end of the day to check in on her day and chat about yours for 10 to 15 minutes. No, not text her “hey how was your day?” (which is no doubt thoughtful), but call her and then speak to her. People so rarely do that, that it’s become overly sweet and thoughtful and unexpected – in a word, romantic.
You could surprise send someone mail. Yeah, mail mail – like you write a letter and send it to someone’s apartment (n.b.: you’ll need a stamp…and to know their address). But what would it say?! You text all day long and see each other three times a week! I don’t know. Maybe it’s some post card you found on the street that made you think of the person. Or some article you read somewhere that you clipped out with them in mind? I not just going to give away all my ideas here…
Or – brace yourself for this – you could send someone something at their office, total old-school style. Maybe the tradish flowers? Or maybe cupcakes if they’re having a rough week or lunch if they’ve been working so hard they can’t unshackle from the desk. With that idea you could send a hot and cheesy pizza directly to someone’s apartment if you know they’re getting home late and hungry after a 12-hour day at work. Remember: anything can be delivered…in New York at least.
My point is simple – and it this point annoyingly clear. We are technology-based people living in a technology-based word. Use it. Whether it’s anti-it (as in turn the shit off) or the crazy shit it allows (you can buy someone a CD on iTunes and have it emailed to them) – it’s there, and it’s easy, and it will work incredibly well.
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I have to say that I have never texted/emailed while on a date within the first 4 months of dating. And I would be pissed if a guy I was out with did that while we were at a restaurant. I might excuse it if we were on what you call a no-plan date where we’re walking around the park or zoo or something and he got a text and responded. But to do it while sitting in a restaurant is still just plain rude.
It’s true- our standards are so low. My friends even sit around texting and checking the internet when they hang out together.
On a similar note – http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/wayoflife/10/16/tf.real.men.buy.flowers/index.html?iref=mpstoryview
You have just given me one more tool to score. I will try the “turn off phones” statement, and report back to you.