…how to craft this post so that you don’t end up hating me slash the city of Los Angeles…

Perhaps a list of disclaimers will help:

• Every place has a social currency – a system of understanding who is where in life (succeeding, failing, struggling, rising) based on given factors about their life (they have a lot of money, they published a book, they have earned major awards). Popularity and status have been a part of human nature since caveman one killed a bigger buffalo than caveman two. Right or wrong, bad or good, this is part of the way the world work.

• Not everyone in a given place gives a damn about the social currency of that place. Some people participate, some people don’t. But regardless of whether or not you’re participating, the system exists. (Note: and if you make a big enough stink about not participating you become your own system that people will copy until it’s part of the main stream system. This, boys and girls, is how we ended up with hipsters.)

• There are worlds in which social currency and status matter more than they do in others. The most popular doctor won’t likely rise to top of his field if he is dumb. The most popular salesman/politician/actor may…slash will.

I think that’s enough for now. I’ll sprinkle more in should it feel necessary. Here goes.

You don’t have to live in L.A. for any of amount of time to know that it’s a city where status matters. I’ll spare you the laundry list of examples of what people do to flaunt their wears around these parts, just know that driving a flashy car is the least of it.

But what I’m learning is that when you’re actually inside the industry that makes this town go ’round, there’s a very specific set of factors that can enhance your social currency – the measure of how you’re doing in comparison to everyone else in this town – and they have way less to do with money than you’d imagine.

This is, of course, a mine field of a blog topic. I could talk about how different social status is in New York versus LA, what kind of people succeed in LA based on this “system,” how it has the potential to make people insane, and/or why I actually think it’s among the more honest places you can choose to live. But the truth is I’m not qualified to comment on any of that quite yet. I’ve only been here for 9.5 months and I still sit on the periphery of the circles where this all means much more (specifically the circle in which everyone is really, really successful).

What I am qualified to comment on is my perception of what earns you major points in this town. I can’t say whether or not these things earn you points in the eyes of people outside my existence (let’s call my existence 20-40 year-olds with zero, early or mid-level success in some realm of the entertainment industry), but that’s the nature of the social currency game. It only matters inside your “world.”

What I will say about my perception of L.A. versus most other cities (NY, Boston, San Fran, Chicago) is that the world in which the social currency plays here is much smaller. By that I mean a greater percentage of people here are tracking the same stuff and assigning the same value. Think of it like what politics is to D.C. (the central focus of much of that city’s goings on) versus what finance is to New York (one big industry inside a city with many big industries).

• You can be related to someone who is/was very successful. Fastest, easiest, most fail-proof way to receive instant access to the “somebodies” club. As far as I can tell there’s only so far that you can ride that card, but half of making it here it getting in the door, and doors fly open when your Dad is ___________. Also, this obviously doesn’t apply if someone is hated by the entire town.

• You can be really good friends with someone who is very successful. Remember how in middle school you were instantly more popular if your friends were popular? This is kind of the same thing except a little more legit. In the eyes of the industry people with equal amounts of talent run in the same circle, so simply by virtue of your friendship with someone you are considered of their ilk and therefore you earn points, doors open for you and your climb toward their level of success is easier. You will literally hear people say things like, “oh, she’s one of Whitney’s girls” – a term used to describe a collection of female comedians who are good friends with Whitney Cummings. But same goes for the above. The other half of getting in is proving you deserve to be there.

• You can write/create/be a part of something that the entire town is buzzing about. For those of you reading this outside of L.A. and rolling your eyes at the “whole town is buzzing about” line – I’m so sorry, trust me I am, but it’s true. Certain scripts/short films/plays/web series surface and catch fire. Case in point the twitter handle @ShitMyDadSays. Every agent, manager, producer and network exec in this town knew about that feed the minute it became popular and within a year it was a network television show starring the Priceline Negotiator. That’s an example of someone’s creative idea turning into almost instant success. But there are just as many examples of people who are incredibly popular and revered without ever having actually done anything – most common among them the unemployed writer who wrote the spec script that everyone is talking about. This person may do nothing for the next year to three years, but that doesn’t make them less popular. It takes time, and you earn points along the way.

• You can not work in the industry. Send a 27-year-old, female kindergarten teacher into a party packed with Hollywood types and she will come out with three marriage proposals and brunch plans for the rest of her life. People here are fascinated by people who don’t work in the industry. They want to know what it’s like, how it feels, and why in the world they’re living in L.A.? I should mention that anything in the vein of food service does not count as “not industry” because everyone in the food service industry is actually aspiring to be in the entertainment industry. Same sort of goes for retail and nanny-ing.

I should mention that you can also earn major status by doing a really good job at your job for X years until you earn a promotion that puts you in a position of importance with the status attached. For example: development assistant becomes development coordinator becomes development manager becomes V.P of development. With each step this person networks their ass off so that every manager, agent, producer, etc. in town knows who they are, knows that they work hard, and knows that they have excellent taste in talent and material. This can/does happen, it’s just that there’s nothing quick about it.

And regarding this “every manager, agent, producer” business. You’re right to roll your eyes at that. Unfortunately, that’s true too.